I miss my foster babies....

I have been doing chemo since August and it's still not going great. Not that chemo should go great, but I thought by now my body would start doing better. It's not. I'm still having some pretty nasty side affects. So last night I decided to cheer myself up and sat here and looked through pics of my kids. (Please tell me you do this too)

I came across pics from last Halloween, and it made me tear up. There was my sweet little J-man smiling back at me. I miss that sweet baby boy. (For those who are new to our story, J-man was our foster son for 7 months) We haven't had any foster babies in our house since the end of July and that makes me very sad. J-man was the sweetest baby with a smile that could brighten everyone's day. Which got me thinking. This is one reason why I fight the way that I do.

You see we aren't fostering while I'm doing treatments, it is just not a good idea. But we will foster again (and maybe eventually adopt) and it gives me something to fight for when this cancer journey gets hard.

And his smile cheered me up.

Maybe you need something to bring a smile to your face today, and J-man can do that. I'm sorry that we can't show his face, but it is the rule.

These two were so adorable. We called them "our twins" and they LOVED each other so much.
Bryce and J-man

Teaching J-man how to walk.

My Dad was J-man's favorite person in the whole world. They were such buddies.

Did it work? Are you smiling now?

Meeting Baby Zuri

There is just something about the orphan crisis that gets me worked up. I just feel such a desperation to do something! And I love stories about people who are doing just that....something. And that is exactly what this post is about. This post is about an orphan who has a family now. It's about a love that could not be separated by half the world. And it's a post about sweet smiles from precious baby Zuri.

Monday night (past our bedtime) we went and welcomed home Zuri Birk. I mentioned her Mommy in a previous post. It was a wonderful night even though I had to push back my chemo and was up all night long. My sleepless night was worth it, because SHE IS HOME and SAFE and LOVED!

Enjoy some pics from that night courtesy of Daniel Davis.

My hero

This week was all about "rest". I was off chemo (doctors orders) and so I just rested all week. I cleaned like a freak (that's how I rest), played with the kiddos, went to the gym, and watched movies with my husband. Life felt normal, kind of....I still get really tired easily. BUT THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT CANCER!!!(I'm a little excited about that)

I've been overwhelmed lately (in a good way) by all the support I have received since being diagnosed. Long lost friends, acquaintances, Adam's co-workers, new friends from church, and even complete strangers have just LOVED on me. I am so blessed by this, but I'm still learning "how to do it". I get lots of emails, comments, and even texts about how strong I am and inspirational. I don't know how to respond to them.

Truth is I'm not strong. I'm not inspirational. I'm just n-o-t.

I am a normal, scared, weak, little girl who just loves Jesus. And without sounding too hokey that is why I'm able to do what I do. I'm strong because Jesus is strong. I'm not scared of the future because I have hope of life everlasting in Him. And I'm not mad that I have cancer, because I know that Jesus is perfect and so are His plans for my life.

BUT this post is NOT about me. It's about one of my HEROES.

A lady who is STRONG.

A lady who is INSPIRATIONAL.

A lady who also LOVES JESUS a lot.

Meet Sherry:

She's the hot one on the right side. That tall guy in the middle is Andy another great co-worker friend.

Sherry works at Gowalla with Adam. We like to joke about one of the first times we met. I just sat myself down right next to her and asked, "So, what's your story?". (Ha typical Jen) We spent the rest of the night talking life, guys, kids, adoption, and who knows what else. We were instant friends. She even talked me into doing a running group with some other Gowalla employees. (Ha that is NOT a typical Jen. I ADORE working out, but HATE running)

So why is Sherry my hero?

Well....first you need to...

Meet Zuri:
A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E! Am I right? Little Zuri lives in Ethiopia (for the moment). She's Sherry's daughter, and tomorrow morning Sherry leaves Austin to go to Ethiopia and pick up her daughter. In a little over a week, Mom and daughter will come HOME!

Sherry is my hero, because she heard God whisper, "Take care of the orphans", "Love the unloved", "Adopt a daughter from Africa, Sherry". And Sherry said, "YES, I will!"

Even when it didn't make "sense", Sherry said "yes". You see Sherry is single. Normal single ladies don't adopt babies from Africa. Sherry is the only income in her home. Normal people look at the cost of adoption and say "Nope, not for me. That is too expensive". Sherry is willing to open her heart, home, and life to a little baby she had never met. Normal single people just don't do that!

I hope that you are beginning to see that Sherry is NOT normal. Because of the love of Jesus, Sherry is obeying God's question; "Who will go?" "Who will love these babies?" "Who will love like I first loved?" She is amazing. And the story that God is telling through her life and her daughter is AAAAH-mazing!

Please join me friends. Pray for my amazing friend Sherry and her baby girl Zuri. I know that she is nervous. I know that she is scared. And I know that Satan is trying his best to knock my sweet friend down. But Sherry knows that the battle is already won, that because of Jesus we are adopted into the family of God. And because of that LOVE, Sherry can love a little baby the same way I love my kiddos. Sherry knows that adoption is the perfect picture of loving someone unconditionally. Sherry knows that her Heavenly Father fought for her life the same way Sherry has been fighting for Baby Zuri. And that soon she will hold that little baby in her arms FOREVER! Pray for my hero!

Pray for baby Zuri. Pray for health and an easy trip back to Austin. Pray for her heart to begin healing. Pray for the bond of mother and daughter to form. Pray for the details. Pray for sweet moments and for patience and peace for the not so sweet ones. Pray for the paperwork and passports. Pray for sweet laughs, lots of cuddling, and nights of sleep (for Mom and baby). Pray...Pray...Pray.
Tomorrow my hero travels to get her baby girl. And tomorrow a new chapter in the beautiful story God is writing about these two begins. I can't wait to "read" the next part, and I can't wait to get my arms around these two beautiful girls. I love you, Sherry! (and baby Zuri!)

I will be getting off a plane with my little girl. And she will be mine. Forever. Despite being scared, my heart is able to see the life of true joy this little girl is going to bring me. Yes, I won’t get to go dancing with my friends as much :) and I probably won’t get as much sleep. Sacrifices will be made. People are going to look at me funny. Dating will likely be interesting. There are going to be hard days, especially doing this on my own. But giving her a family, watching her grow, living life together and seeing who she turns into…this is what matters. I can’t wait. -words from Sherry's blog

Foster Update

Little M has been with us for almost 5 weeks now. Wow times flies. So I thought I’d give everyone an update. She is a great little baby. I’ve got her on a perfect schedule right now and adore watching her learn more and more each day. She’s rolling over now, laughing, talking, and grabbing things with her hands. (she didn’t do any of that when we first got her) She loves being held and talked or singed to and can get pretty upset if someone (especially Mom) doesn’t pick her up when she wants you to.

The kids are doing great with her too. My favorite thing is when Alexis tries to convince Little M that she should have a binky in her mouth at all times. Little M doesn’t want it, but Alexis (who can only have one in her bed) doesn’t understand why not. Bryce “wubs” her and wants her to stay forever and still insists on introducing our “new baby” to everyone he sees. Connor is stepping up as a “helper” especially if it means he can earn another minute or two of Wii time.

Her case seems pretty calm. I take her to visits each week and have actually started picking up her Bio Mom too. And we’ve heard that CPS is still aiming for reunification in late May. Who knows what that means though. I’ll continue to keep everyone updated as much as I can.

Foster Update

Yes, we're still fostering.

We're back on the list and waiting once again. We almost got a newborn baby girl a couple weeks ago. (Umm yeah that made my heart skip a beat....a NEWBORN)

This is always a weird place to be. First, I feel like we're always 1 phone call away from another crazy journey. And second, because I can't "hope" to have a placement because that simply means a baby is being hurt somewhere.

So, it's good that we haven't had a call. And it's not good because we are back to waiting......

(I hate waiting)

So what if I can't adopt?

"So Jen, super neat quotes and stats, but seriously we/I can't adopt right now or maybe ever. So what do you have to say to me?"

Dude I know what you are thinking! I've been there. So this post is all about what you can do to help the orphan, the widow, the needy right now. (And guess what some of the things you can do DON'T require money)

1) Sponsor an orphan. For a little more than $30 a month you can CHANGE a child's life. Your money will help this child get food, clean water, shelter, and many times SCHOOL. So, not only are you caring for their physical needs, but you're giving them a HOPE for the future. We love our sponsor daughter and pray for her each night, write her letters, and talk about her. I love seeing how my kids are learning to have a heart for those that don't have what they have.

I can wholeheartedly put my name behind each of these organizations:

HELP (Help End Local Proverty)

Compassion

World Vision

2) Throw a garage sale party. I love this one, because it is SO easy. Just talk to a bunch of friends and get a bunch of your crap together. Hang out for a Saturday morning and SELL SELL SELL. Then donate the money to your favorite organization. Or, donate it to a family you know is trying to raise money to adopt. We did this with our community group and donated everything to HELP. They have a great website called Garage Sale for Orphans. You can even see where your money is going.

3) Buy Christmas presents this year that can help the world's poorest. Trade as One let's you buy jewelry, shirts, purses, scarves, chocolate, coffee, and even spices from around the world. You can be confident to know that the money goes directly to the people who made the product.

Whether it's a unique gift or an everyday product like fair trade coffee or chocolate, your spending can connect you to a story of hope and dignity for the poor.

That's what it means to trade as one.

4) Sacrifice one of your Christmas presents or ask your kids to and buy a present for someone in need. Participate in an angel tree and know that you are giving a gift to a child or family who wouldn't get one otherwise.

5) Donate gently used toys and clothes to your local fostercare agency for foster parents and children to use.

6) Contact your local fostercare agency and sign up to become a CERTIFIED babysitter. You see, foster parents cannot just call up a babysitter for a much needed night out. They have to have CERTIFIED babysitters and it can be really difficult to find one without a couple weeks notice! This could be a HUGE blessing to a family who is really needing to feel blessed. In most cases, all you need to do is fill out a background check and take a short class.

7) Get a group together and collect new teddy bears or other stuffed animals. Give them to your local fostercare agency. Imagine that the moment a child is taken from their family they are given a new stuffed animal to hold onto.

8) If you know a family who is in the process of adopting, organize and provide dinners when their little son/daughter comes home. We do this when our friends have a newborn, but sometimes forget to do it when families adopt.

9) GO! Go on a mission trip to love the poor, the widow, the needy, the orphan. Adam and I are going to take the money we have saved for our 10 year anniversary cruise and go on a mission trip together instead.

10) Talk! Spread the word. Talk about James 1:27 with others. Talk about what we (the church) are doing right and what we are doing wrong. Talk to your pastors about an orphan ministry. Talk to your friends. Find other blogs and twitter accounts. Spread the word. I know for me personally I was just NAIVE to the orphan crisis and really had no idea what an epidemic it had become.

Together for Adoption

This weekend, we attended the Together for Adoption conference here in Austin. I totally wish I was a good writer and could ACTUALLY do a good job sharing with you about this weekend. I can't, but I will try to share with you the things God did lay on my heart.

1) Adam and I are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing. I've never really doubted this, but this last week was a hard one on me. Lots of talks about J-man's case and a few phone calls from Bio Mom. This next week is going to be even harder because this could be our last with our son. This weekend was like someone hitting the refresh button. I needed that, and I needed to be surrounded by 1,000 people who are living radically to love the orphan.

2) Again and again this weekend, I felt sick to my stomach. Sick because the orphan crisis could be DEMOLISHED quite easily by the Christian church. Sit on that for a second. We, my brothers and sisters in Christ, could make it so that NOT one child is ever waiting for a family.

In Texas there are 12,191 children waiting to be adopted. There 18,466 Christian churches in the state of Texas.

3) Just the chance to meet so many incredible families/couples was so very enouarging and challenging to me. Encouraging because I didn't feel alone, and I KNEW that every Mother in that room could understand some of the feelings I have sometimes. Challenging because these couples/families are FREAKIN' Rockstars.

4) The time I spent worshiping our perfect Savior was indescribable. To have time to praise our perfect Father, weep (yes there were many tears from me), confess, and pray was EXACTLY what I needed.

5) It was just fun spending time with my hubby and our friends (new and old). It was fun to laugh, go on a date, stay up WAY too late, drink coffee (still hate it), and sharpen each other.

Again, I wish I could do a better job sharing with you, but I will leave you with some of my tweets from this weekend.

You could have 15 biological children and would still have to start at square one w/ an adoptive child." Dr Purvis

"You can't care for the orphan if you let the world corrupt you." Dave Gibbons

"We'll vote for pro life politicians but we turn our back on the children when they are actually born." Dave Gibbons

Could Satan's strategy simply b 2 make the church think we're doing something when we're really doing nothing? Dave Gibbons

There is a kind of religion that makes God smile -James 1:27

Over 19,000 children age out of the fostercare system every year in the US. Brothers and Sisters who will love these kids?

If every church took in one child there would be a waiting list for parents not children. Doesn't that sound freaking awesome?

Worried about the cost of adoption? God is not a deadbeat Dad and he will take care of you.

Just talked to couple that has adopted 9 kids from California's fostercare. Freakin Rockstars. God is moving, wanna move with Him?

Listening to Dr Karyn Purvis bringing it (and she's rocking skinny jeans). This lady is my hero.

"We need to serve, mentor, teach, and love our foster bio moms." @sjfults is teaching on radical and missional fostercare.

How can an orphan ever understand the love of God the Father when they don't know the love of an earthly father? -Matt Carter

Adoption Journey: Random thoughts

Alright I know I haven't updated you guys in quite a while. I'm not avoiding you, I just been avoiding writing this update. You know; it's a it's not you it's me kind-of-thing. You see everyday something changes and I think "I should sit down and update everyone", well then the phone rings and everything changes once again.

Unfortunately, I can't talk about J-man's case. I can tell you that he is still our foster son. Yup lame I know, but that's it. Everyday his case changes and one minute we think this could be forever and then the next minute well....maybe only a week or a month or a year.

Which leads me to my first thought about what the heck is going on. We knew going into this that the "system" was flawed. We knew that CPS workers were overworked and underpaid. We knew that birth Mom's can be perfect one minute and literally crazy the next. We knew that sometimes your case all depended on the judge and how he/she feels that day. (You know maybe they had bad Mexican so now everyone must pay, yes they can do that) We knew that we could fall in love with a little boy or girl and one day have to give them back to Mom.

But for some reason "knowing" all these things and LIVING all these things is REALLY REALLY REALLY DIFFERENT!

My next thought is all about me. (Yeah cause that is how I roll sometimes) I've gotten lot's of encouraging comments from everyone online, on the phone, in the grocery store, and everywhere else. Comments like:

"Jen, you were made for this." or "Jen, I can't believe how well you handling your life now" or "Wow fostering, that's incredible only really special people can do that, great job." or "You make that look easy"

I smile and say thank you or something nice and take off, partly because I don't want them to see the "truth" and partly because in most cases I HAVE 4 CHILDREN to watch and control and I can't chat people.

The "truth" is I feel like that stupid saying about ducks; "calm above water, but paddling like crazy under". That's me, calm and put together on the outside or even out in public. But at home my house is NO WHERE as clean as it used to be. I rarely get to eat dinner until 9:00pm every night. I don't always feel like a give each child the attention they need or deserve. And I'm tired.

Then there's all the crap that is going on in my head. One day I feel like I got this and we've had 4 kids forever and this foster thing is easy. The next moment I'm saying in my head, "What were we thinking?". One day I'm planning our life together with J-man and the next day I find myself plagued with fear for what his future will look like.

The kids are doing great and don't even notice my dirty house or that Mommy just might be crazy. Connor just got his first stripe on his white belt in Karate. Bryce is talking up a storm and loves playing with his brothers and sister. J-man is crawling more everyday, eating well, sleeping great, and bonding with me and the family very well (Birth-Mom might think "too" well). And Alexis is lovin' life and becoming more and more stubborn everyday (in a good way of course).

I'm increasing my time with Jesus to help me with everything that is going on right now. I'm getting back to my journaling because I just need too. I just ordered some bracelets that I'm going to wear for each kid to help remind myself to pray more often for each of them. And I started reading "Radical" by David Platt. This is a very good book for me to read right now, because it helps remind me why we signed up for this fostering to adopt thing in the first place. We felt called to live different, to love others the way Jesus loves us, and to live as an example to others that Jesus loves them no matter what.

So there's my update. This is really hard, not J-man but all the other crap. We look at each day with him as a day to love him as our own. And we keep doing what we feel God wants us to be doing; Loving Him and loving others.

Adoption Journey: Our First Weekend

Dude, the J-man has been living with us for more than 5 days! Sometimes it feels like he just got here yesterday and sometimes it feels like he has always been here. It has been a crazy 5 days, but also a kind of just normal 5 days. I'll explain.

Crazy that we have 4 kids now. Crazy that we have had 2 CPS visits, 1 lawyer visit, a trip to the pediatrician, and a trip for a visitation. Crazy that I have to carry 2 babies upstairs one weighing 26 pounds. Crazy that the J-man liked (I say liked because today he only threw one) throwing tantrums. Crazy that Alexis' two front teeth decided to make an appearance and she was up until 11:30am last night. Crazy that I forgot about the milk cups I let the boys bring yesterday on the way to church in the van and discovered them this morning(Please remember that it is summer and I live in Texas). Crazy that I had 5 things on my to-do list this weekend and only did 2 of them(Yes one of the things on my list was to post an update for everyone). Crazy that I get stared at when I go out with all the kids and was called "insane" twice this weekend.

Normal that we went to the pool on Saturday and everyone loved it. Normal that we have taught J-man that it's ok to crawl all over the house and play with anything. (When he first got here he wouldn't crawl more than a foot) Normal that typical meals for the babies now include yogurt, sweet potatoes, cut up peaches, and veggie straws (again when we first got J-man he wouldn't eat anything and it has become obvious that he did not have a good diet). Normal that at 2:00pm all the McManus children are in their rooms sleeping and/or resting. Normal that we all made it to the gym on time and Mom got a must needed hard workout and uninterrupted shower. Normal that I did 4 loads of laundry, folded and put the clothes away, cleaned all the bathrooms, and kitchen. Normal that my kids adore little J-man (Bryce actually cried when we dropped him off for visitation, so sweet). Normal that my husband is my freakin hero and has helped me out a lot and already loves that sweet little baby (I wish I could post pictures).

That's all for now. I'm off to have a couch date with my man.

Adoption Journey: A PLACEMENT

We got the call today. The call about a little man who needed a family to love on him. I can't give details, and I can't even post a picture. But, I can tell you that this little man is NOT at all little. He is 10 and 1/2 months and is wearing 24 month clothes. And he is beautiful! The whole family is already totally in love with the little-not-so-little J-man.

Here are a couple of my random thoughts tonight.

1) CRAPFIRE! We have 4 kids. 2 who are NOT walking. Can we really do this?

2) Bryce and Connor were superheroes today. They loved making the J-man laugh and helped pick out some clothes, a new car seat, and a toy for him.

3) Alexis and the J-man loved splashing and playing together in the bath tub. It was so cute!

4) The J-man seems to be an easy going little dude and that just totally ROCKS.

5) He's already attached to his new Mommy.

6) I can't help but think about J-man's birth mom tonight. She needs prayer, lot's of prayer.

7) I'M TIRED! We got the call at 3:30pm and by 4:45pm J-man, a CPS worker, and an Arrow worker were in our house. I signed a lot of papers and got lots of information. It was fast, crazy, and yet I felt a calmness. I kept saying in my head, this is all God, and I need to just have faith that this is a part of his perfect plan. (OH yeah and today of ALL days, I got up at 5:45am to workout, no nap either....I'm very tired)

8) How am I going to go to the grocery store with 2 non walking babies and the older boys? (that just hurts my head)

9) Is everyone gonna sleep through the night tonight??

Yup that's that! I'll post more soon.

Adoption Journey: Daily pictures

Here is where we are at in our adoption journey:

photo by Esther Havens

1) WE ARE OFFICIALLY LICENSED!! Yippppeeeee Which means at any moment we could get a call from our agent with information on a child who needs placement. We could have just hours notice before a CPS worker comes to drop him or her off.

2) Daily I'm receiving emails about legal-risk children (kids who are almost ready to be adopted) and straight adoption children. Our agency sends them out to families who they think will be a good fit. We've currently been submitted for 4 little kiddos. (a 4 month old girl, 6 month old boy, 16 month old girl, and a 14 month old boy) This part is difficult because everytime I open an email I see a picture of our potential son or daughter (we just have NO IDEA what God has planned). I also get heartbreaking emails of kids we don't feel like we can care for or specilized cases. In most cases it's little girls or guys with special needs or extreme physcial and medical needs. We are just not in a place to care for a child like that (as of now). It is really HARD to see these smiling faces day in and day out. I keep a hopeful attitude knowing that soon we will have a little girl or guy to love on. But I can't help but think "There is so much more we can do". And I don't just mean my family. I pray that you continue to pray about how you can help love the widow, the orphan, and the helpless.

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27

If anyone is interested in learning more about adoption (even if it means you can't adopt) Please look into this conference. (We'll be there!!) Together for Adoption 2010

Adoption Journey: Waiting for our license

We are officially just WAITING AGAIN! This time we are waiting for a little piece of paper from the state of Texas saying we are certified foster parents. It could be any day now and then guess what???? WE WAIT SOME MORE. I'm actually in a good place right now, probably because I've had a lot of practice waiting on God.

And the waiting in this journey is only gonna get harder.

Waiting on a placement
Waiting on finding out if this little girl or boy will be going up for adoption (this can take over a year)
Waiting on a court hearing
Waiting on a judge decision
WAITING WAITING WAITING

If you know ANYTHING about me you know that I like things my way, so this journey is going to be SUPER hard for me. During the training and certification wait I have poured myself into the Word and a couple of books that have reminded me that I need to continue to trust that God is in control and my job is to love and glorify Him. This journey is not about me, but about loving a little boy or girl no matter how long they are a part of our family. This journey is about showing others that because God loved us we can open our home and hearts to love a child like a son or daughter. Even if that son or daughter did not become a part of our family a traditional way.

Pray for us:

Continue to pray for our family as we take steps closer to welcoming a new member to it
Pray for the little boy or girl God has already chosen to be placed with us
Pray for his/her family
Pray for the state system and that our journey is as smooth as possible

Adoption Journey: Just Chillin'

We are waiting!

We've started the Home Study and hope to be COMPLETELY done in the next week or two. Our agency is really busy right now and they want to do the Home Study themselves.

Sooooo we wait.

Continue to pray for us and the little girl or boy who will be joining our family soon.

Adoption Journey: Family Photo Time

We have to make a photo book about our family for CPS workers, the judges, and families before our certification to foster/adopt. So our roomie Daniel hooked us up! Enjoy....

The whole Fam
We love the park near our house
Aren't baby kisses the best?!

I love the story behind this picture! Alexis just tried to eat Adam's hair and this was her reaction!
Just playin'
Swinging

Daddy and the boys exploring
I love this one of Bryce
Ready to jump to Daddy
Think a judge or CPS worker will like em? We had a blast playing and it was a bonus that Daniel took such AWESOME pictures.

Adoption Journey: Whoa! Slow Down.

So for awhile now I felt like we were in limbo with our certification to foster/adopt. We went to class week after week and turned in more paperwork, but that was it.
But now I feel like we are in fast forward. We had our fire inspection last week. And just got a call at 4:00pm the night before our health inspection which is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9:00am. Some guy or gal will walk through our house and could potently go through everything we own in order to decide if our house is safe to raise a child or two in. Ha too funny if we didn't pass. NOT. Then we have our fingerprints next week, family portraits, 2 online courses, the last of our paperwork, 3 classes and WE ARE DONE!
If you haven't started already, please begin praying for the little baby who will be placed in our home very SOON.

Adoption Journey: Foster Class #4

Alright I admit it, I'm a question "asker." Especially when I'm learning about something that I'm very passionate about. And, well, we're going to adopt from the foster care system, and I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM. Our class this week started with a time of Q&A and I loved it. (And might have asked a really lot of questions). I learned a lot more about the "process" and this whole "legal system." Here's a couple highlights:

-Once we are licensed we will be put on a list of families ready to foster. When a child is removed from their home, CPS calls agencies and finds a placement that could work. We then get a phone call from our agency and are asked if we are willing to take the child in. The information we will get about babies is not always reliable. So, Adam and I will to have to be ready to make a decision without knowing the hows, whats, timeline, sometimes age, etc. Will need lots of prayer during these hours. Yes, you usually have less than a couple of hours to decide.

-When a child is placed in our home, our door then becomes a "revolving" one so to speak. Here's the crew that we can expect to "drop in" at least once a month while the child is in our home.
1) CPS has to come and check in on the child and set up visitations with the birth parents. Their number one goal is to reconcile with the birth family no matter what.
2) Our ambassotor from Arrow (our agency). This person will be our ally, friend, confidant, etc. We will love this person very much. They could be in our home more like once a week.
3) RCCL rep from the state fostercare licensing. We were told that this person is not a friend, someone we must not joke with and we must do everything they say. (glup)
4) Ad Litem the court appointed lawyer for the child. They are supposed to fight for what's best for the child.
5) CASA is an adovatcate for the child that usually has a law background. They also work hard for what's best for the child.
6)Behavior or Physical Therapists if needed.

-We can and sometimes will be expected to appear in court. To be honest, THAT COMPLETELY FREAKS me out.

-We can and will have the opportunity to meet the birth parents when they have visitations. We want to do this because we do want kids to go back "home" if it's safe and loving. We also want to be able to tell our kids about their birth parents if his or her rights are given up or terminated by the state.

-We can't post ANY pictures of our foster kiddos. We have to protect their safety and so no published pictures whatsoever. I can send pictures to family over email, but that's it. This is a little sad cause I'm a picture LOVER.

Told ya I ask a lot of questions! But, it was all good information, and although there were moments when I felt overwhelmed, I know that God's plan for our family is ABSOLUTELY perfect. So, I check off another class that's required and realize that we are another week closer in our adoption journey.

Adoption Journey: Foster Class #3

This week was a little different. We started the evening off talking about building family relationships and bonding. It was good stuff cause it was a lot of practical "how to" and "what to do" and I love that kind of information. I like lists and checking things off that list. We also talked about how kids might react when they are dropped off at your home and how you can help them cope. It was rich and heavy and good.
We got a very quick run through of the whole "legal" process. We talked about each step that CPS, our agency, lawyers, judges, and us have to take once a child is removed from their home. (That was hard to keep up with) This process is messy and unpredictable, and all I kept thinking is that God is perfect and that we will need lots of prayer and support.
The last half of the evening was a Q&A with current foster and adoptive parents. This was a rich and enlightening time. I loved hearing stories about families who opened their home to foster babies and had two newborns placed into their home in 2 weeks (They ended up adopting both). It broke my heart to hear stories about families having to "give up" the babies and kids they had welcomed and loved so much. It was good to be reminded that this journey for me and our family will be trying at times and that I HAVE to be ready to depend solely on my Heavenly Father when it gets really hard.
I remember having a moment when I thought "Jen why the heck are you signing up for this? Are you freakin' CRAZY?" But I was quickly reminded that God wants to use our family to love and help these babies and their families. That might mean we have a baby in our home for a short amount of time or a really long amount of time before they go back to their biological families. But if it means that for the time they are in our family they experience Jesus love and are prayed for daily then it will be worth it. It will be worth if it means one little baby and family gets to see Jesus in our little family. All the possible and probably inevitable tears will be worth it when I get to hold and pray for a baby who has never been prayed for before(like EVER).
The weeks are going to continue to get heavier and heavier, but Adam and I continue to feel at peace with our decision to adopt through the foster system and continue to see God's perfect hand in it.

Here's what you can be praying for us:

1) Organization of the tons of paperwork and appointments we need to finish
2) Continue to pray for our kids and their hearts as they try to understand this process
3) Adam and I continue to talk about our fears and frustrations and JOYS
4) Please begin to pray for the families and the babies that we will have in our life sooner than later

We're still aiming for being certified in April and that could literally mean we get a call for a placement THAT DAY! (That means I could have another newborn or older baby in 2 months.)

*There are over 118,000 children available for adoption in the US Foster Care System.

Adoption Journey: Foster Class #2

Separation, Loss, and Grief was the title of the class this week so you know that there were lots of laughs and fun stories; NOT. It was a lot of heavy stuff, but because I'm the glass-is-always-full kind of girl, I saw a lot of opportunities for God's grace, goodness, and love. I took a lot of classes that dealt with these big issues back in college and even had to take a class called loss, death, and dying (it was a really uplifting class I tell ya). Why didn't anyone tell me that the boring stuff we studied in college would actually matter one day??? I might have paid more attention in class and actually read what I was supposed to. (probably not hehehe)

I could write about the loads of information we got last night about what these kids are going through, but like I said I'm not that kind of girl. I don't want to talk about all the negative stuff. Instead, I wanna talk about what our role will be in these babies lives (as of right now that's the age we feel called to foster, I hope that one day we are called to foster older kids too, but we want to always be able to adopt when needed)

50% of what we need to know for life is learned in the first year of life.
This hit me hard. My first thought was about my kids and what the heck we did that first year and if it was "right." And, then my second thought was that I'm excited that in some cases I'll be used by God to help these babies get the love and healthy attachment they have to experience and learn that first year. I'm sure that for some in the class they were freakin' out (especially those who want to only adopt) because foster kids are being taken out of their homes for a reason. I'm pretty sure it's not because healthy attachment and perfect parenting is happening.

I'm still processing what kinds of things I need to start doing to prepare my head and heart for caring for these babies. I'll need to reread a lot of material on healthy attachment, therapy play, care giving for malnourished, unattached, hurting, sometimes physically abused, and needy babies. But, for now I'm going to cling to God's perfect plan for these kids. I feel so lucky that God can and will use me and our family to help love these babies as long as they are in our home.

Next week we get to ask questions and listen to a panel of veteran foster parents. I'm very excited about that. What question would you ask?

*Last year 14% of Austin, TX kids in foster care were reunited with families, 26% were adopted, & 57% aged out with no support. 57 PERCENT!

Adoption Journey: Foster Class #1

We had our first foster care certification class last night. It was great to put some faces to people I had been emailing at Arrow (our agency) and to meet families who are interested in fostering/adopting too. It was a very basic introduction type class so we didn't really "learn" anything new.
EXCEPT THIS! There is a huge need for certified foster babysitters. Because foster babies and kiddos are wards of the state not just anyone can babysit. So that means families out there sacrificing a lot already are not getting chances to go out for a dinner or movie sometimes.....EVER. Could you imagine??? So I'm spreading the word(and you should too). It only takes about 3-4 hours to become a certified foster babysitter. Selfishly I want lots and lots of friends and family to become certified because Adam and I would like a night out every now and then. But my prayer is that you think about what a blessing you could be for families who are giving so much. 4 hours?? and a couple hours here and there to babysit. If you can't or haven't felt called to foster or adopt I can't think of a better way to help serve the orphans in your own city.

*In the US there are approximately 500,000 children in foster care (Jan 2008)

Adoption Journey: Why Adopt?

We've had lots of questions and interest about this whole adoption thing. Especially now, when it seems like adoption is on everyone's mind (which is AWESOME). Please take time to pray that God continues to bring adoption to the front of the hearts and minds of all of us. I thought it would be helpful for all my readers if I answered a lot of the questions we have been asked and some I know are out there. I'm going to be blunt and honest, because...well I'm honest and blunt!

You have 3 (beautiful and healthy) kids of your own, why adopt more?
Short Answer: Why not?

Longer Answer: God has blessed us with our 3 healthy kids and we thank Him everyday for that. I wholeheartedly believe that Jesus, Son of God came to earth, lived a perfect life, died for me, and rose again and because of His sacrifice I am "adopted" into God' family. (But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. Galatians 4:4-6) I also yearn and pray that my faith is more than just words. That the gospel is lived out in my life and is more than a great story. It's how and why I yearn and try to live the life that I live. I love kids and love Jesus so what better way to live that out but to adopt a baby who can't be taken care of for whatever reason. I'm now part of the family of God and can't wait to show that same love to the next member of our family.

Are you worried about how this will affect Connor, Bryce, and Alexis?

Absolutely not, we're actually excited to see how God uses this to increase the faith and understanding of Jesus' love to our kids. Little kids have this gift that seems to disappear as you get older and older. They see no color, no social economic statistics, sometimes no age, no disabilities. They welcome people into our house wholeheartedly, not letting them leave without a hug. They love because that's what they know. I WANT THEM TO HOLD ONTO THAT FOR AS LONG AS THEY CAN! I want them to see that Mommy's and Daddy's faith is more than just church on Sundays, a Bible on the coffee table, and a veggie tales movie. It's our DNA as a family!! I'm not going to lie, there will be adjustments, but there have been adjustments every time we add another member to our family. And, to be honest, my kids ROCK at transitions! (sometimes)

Why are you adopting through the foster care system and not another way?

I have no idea really. We only know that every time we pray this is the way we're being lead. We still have the intent to adopt internationally, but for now foster care is the way we are going. It's going to be hard, I know that. The possibility that the first baby placed in our house will be our new son or daughter is if-y at best. I know that what we have to look forward to is a year (at least) of court dates, confusion, frustration, grief, and more. But, just like pregnancy and labor, it's all worth it in the end when you are holding your little angel.

A boy or a girl?

Ah, this one is tricky for me, because I'm a planner. I'm just wired that way and will be FOREVER. In my head, 2 boys and 2 girls makes sense. After all, right now we have the boys in one bedroom and then obviously would have the girls in another. Perfect right? Well, I've learned over and over again that my "perfect" can and usually looks a lot different than God's. And guess what? I always end up admitting that God's perfect was better after all. All that to say, we're not going to check the girl box or boy box (yes you can do that). If I got pregnant tomorrow, we wouldn't get to choose and we won't when we adopt either.

A newborn or an older child?

Oooh, they're getting harder!! Another one we've prayed about a lot. And I'll be the first to admit that this answer might change someday. But for now we are going to prepare to foster/adopt 2 and under. We have only one reason why we're going this way and that is because of our family's current birth order. Connor is our oldest and we have prayed over him since he was born. He is the leader of our children and we are teaching him that. Already, I'm beginning to see God work this in his life. We don't feel comfortable throwing in an older boy or girl just yet. Like I said, God's perfect is not always my perfect so I reserve the right to change my answer (that is when or if God changes it first).

One child or siblings?

Again we won't and can't check the box that says ONLY 1 CHILD, because God has His greatest plan already mapped out. Logistically, we're starting with 1 baby, but who knows??!!

Does race matter?

Nope.

Healthy or special needs?

Adam and I have no experience with special needs children, so we don't feel called yet to check that box. (Told ya I'd be honest) But, I feel weird saying we want a healthy child because we'll be adopting a baby, so only God knows just how "healthy" he or she will be.

Most babies in the foster care system are "drug" babies, are you ready for that?

I really doubt that that is true, but yes it is a possibility we get a premature, physically abused, or drug addicted baby. But, once again that is when I have to trust that God is great and bigger than any statistic. With His strength, I'll be able to stay up all night with a screaming baby, get up and go to the gym, and be Mom to everyone else! (That doesn't seem too unrealistic, right?)

Where are you in the adoption process?

This process is going to be long and hard, which is really annoying because getting pregnant was so easy and well.... FUN! :D We've decided to go through an agency instead of the state and have picked our agency. We have begun taking our 30 hours of classes. We've almost completed our 50 page application (I felt like I was applying for college all over again BUT WORSE). Next, we have certifications to finish, an expensive and very detailed home study to get, and then we WAIT!

How much will this cost?

Again we won't really know until this process is over. I know for sure that we will have to pay for a home study very soon, which can be anywhere from $1200-$2,000. (Yup, we have to pay someone to come into our house watch us parent and decide if we are good enough to adopt.) Then, we have all the lawyer and court fees, and I know that those can pile up really fast. We've heard numbers like $1,200- $5,000.

That's all the questions I can think of right now. I'm sure that there are more and I look forward to answering all of them. I'll continue to keep you updated on our Adoption Journey! I leave you with a shocking and mind numbing statistic. Please pray for families in this process and continue praying for the orphans.

If roughly 6% of the born again Christians in the world adopted, we could care for all the adoptable orphans in the world.

Six. Percent.