tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43547203233949730772024-03-19T03:21:02.734-05:00The McManus LifeJen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.comBlogger312125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-91492034547742069422012-11-08T20:08:00.000-06:002012-11-08T20:08:52.184-06:00In August 2011, I started a long year of chemo to fight stage 3 Melanoma.<br />
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In August 2012, I finished.<br />
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Fighting cancer is a war. And like all wars, there are winners and losers. Battles won and battles lost. The ultimate winner of the war had casualties as did the side that lost. The loser has moments of greatness and victory. As it is with war, a lot of times it feels like even the loser wins some and the winner loses some. This is cancer.<br />
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My cancer has won some battles; I have won some. We are still fighting, and the harsh reality for me and my family is that we will always be fighting. Luckily, I believe the greatest war ever fought has already been won. My soul is already saved. My time on this earth is limited, but my time living in eternity is not. With that said I really really want to fight this war for much longer. In October 2012, we got that news. The chemo worked. There was no new cancer growth in my body. We take a breath and celebrate. We take heart knowing that eventually there will be more battles.<br />
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I dreamed of the day that I wouldn't have to stab a shot full of poison into my stomach. Lying on the couch, fighting yet another fever I told myself, just wait soon you will be done. In my head, I told myself that I would be the best mother, wife, sister, friend, and daughter once I stopped treatments. I gave so much up for such a long time, surely when I stop this craziness life will be so....perfect.<br />
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When I stopped treatments, I jumped head first into life. The life I had put on hold for so long. I found myself struggling, treading water, and working so hard for just a breath.<br />
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I am a tough cookie and don't like sharing struggles, but I told myself that when this cancer journey started I would be honest about every step. The good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly.<br />
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Now, please don't get me wrong. I experienced so much joy, beauty, grace, and blessing during that hard year. I was only in the hospital a couple times. Even though my body had a harder reaction to chemo, I was able to just put my big girl panties on and deal with it. Just finishing one of the hardest treatments out there was a miracle. I was able to continue going to the gym keeping my body as strong as I could. My kids knew I was sick, but never had trouble with anxiety or fear. My family and friends were supportive. We were given meals. Friends and family helped with our kids. Adam got to work from home most of the time. People selflessly donated to a fundraiser to help pay down our medical bills. God showed His great love and we were so thankful.<br />
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But, it was also a really tough year. The chemo wreaked havoc on me. I was sick every day. Throwing up, headaches, fever attacks, chills, swelling, muscle loss, weakness, exhaustion, memory loss, decrease of liver function (my doctor compared my liver to that of an 80 year old alcoholic at one point), and terribly low white blood cell counts. Overall, I was just not very "Jen". The Doctor kept promising that everything would come back. I smiled weakly and believed him. He always cautioned me that for a lot of cancer survivors coming off treatments is even more difficult than being on chemo. I secretly laughed. How could that be?<br />
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The day I had dreamed of finally came. No more chemo. I could be the athlete I wanted to be. I could be the wife I was before cancer. The mother. We wouldn't have to hunker down every evening knowing that I would soon be facing fever, puking, and other sickness. We could enjoy a weekend. School was getting ready to start and I would be the most involved and organized Mom ever. No more soup and sandwiches for dinner. I would meal plan every week until Christmas. I could open my Bible and read it without getting a headache. Sit down and talk with a friend without fearing that I wouldn't be able to keep up with a conversation mentally. I could start remembering the week before. I wouldn't get frustrated easily and so tired that I couldn't clean a bathroom. My hair would grow at miraculous pace and I would feel pretty again. The scars would heal quicker than anyone else. All those weddings and babies births that I missed - everyone would just understand. My leg that caused me so much trouble during the year would simply not be a problem. I wouldn't struggle with pride or love of things of the world, after all I almost lost it all. I would appreciate everything I was given never once looking at another wishing and wanting. I would begin volunteering again. Maybe crafting. Stop watching so much TV. And eat completely clean.<br />
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Right?<br />
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For a couple weeks I pretended that everything was ok. Until one day.<br />
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I was tired. I was still sick. My house wasn't as clean as I wanted it. We did have soup and sandwiches for dinner. I struggled with what my body looked like. I did not open my Bible. I felt like a joke at the gym. My hair was still ugly. School was not what I dreamed it would be. I watched another couple hours of some stupid show. I yelled at my kids.<br />
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Mentally, I was struggling. I felt Satan whispering, "Jen, you are a big fraud". I had been so strong for so long and now what? I sang praises to God every day through treatment. But now that I was done, I felt myself saying, "God, I got this now, thanks though". I had tried to run by myself and landed on my face.<br />
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I don't cry often. When I do, it is BIG. I wept in Adam's arms. I cried out that I thought I was strong enough to do it all on my own. I had forgotten that God was the one helping me everyday on chemo and the second I finished I had ran away. I confessed that I was angry we had to struggle through this. I cried out admitting this was harder than I thought. Although we believed that cancer was gone, I was still letting sin try to steal my joy.<br />
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So for weeks and months now, I have been taking it slower.<br />
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Cancer or no cancer, I need help. Chemo or no chemo, I need help. Physical strength or weakness, I need help. Hair I love or hair I don't, I need help. Clean house or utter chaos, I need help.<br />
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I lift up my eyes to the hills.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>From where does my help come?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>My help comes from the LORD,<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>who made heaven and earth.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>He will not let your foot be moved;<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>he who keeps you will not slumber.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Behold, he who keeps Israel<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>will neither slumber nor sleep.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The LORD is your keeper;<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>the LORD is your shade on your right hand.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The sun shall not strike you by day,<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>nor the moon by night.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The LORD will keep you from all evil;<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>he will keep your life.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The LORD will keep<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>your going out and your coming in<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>from this time forth and forevermore.<br />
(Psalm 121 ESV)<br />
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I know where my help comes from. Every day, I remind myself of this. I admit to God I can only do this with His help.<br />
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And you know what? I'm finding my joy again.<br />
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<br />Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-29687526673724047952012-06-11T17:03:00.000-05:002012-06-11T17:03:00.014-05:00The Video<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/75krsoieaB0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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When I was first diagnosed with cancer everyone was so sweet and encouraging to me. People said things like : "if anyone can beat this it is you" or "you are so strong" or "you got this". I kind of felt exactly that way, like I was going to kick this cancer's ass. But as time went by my heart changed a bit, I still wanted to live and still wanted cancer to go away. But I wanted my story to be about more than a girl who is a tough chick. I wanted God to get all the credit. I wanted this story to be about Him. So I started praying.....<br />
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At the time <a href="http://danieldavisphoto.com/">Daniel Davis</a> was living with us. He is a brilliant photographer and ask us if he could take pictures of our cancer journey. We agreed still not knowing how God would use them. Daniel began working for the story team at our church Austin Stone and the idea to do a video began.<br />
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These pictures are real, raw, and kind of scare the crap out of me. I don't remember most of these images or when they were taken. I was sick very sick. I don't look "cute" in them (and we all know that we want cute pictures up on the internet of us). I was smack in the middle of doing crazy treatments everyday. I had gained 15 pounds, my body was freakin out, and our family was in survival mode. I was nervous about this video. Nervous at how it would be received.<br />
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But we prayed and believed that God had a story to tell. That His name was going to be lifted high in the midst of trial and suffering. Please friends!! Post, email, share, tweet, Facebook this video. We have been praying that God uses it somewhere for someone for months now. The story team at The Austin Stone did an incredible job and we want people to see it.<br />
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Thanks again for everyone who is praying for us. And please continue to pray for those who are fighting this fight alone with no hope of the Gospel.<br />
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* Daniel Davis also did an incredible job taking pictures of the night I lost my hair. Feel free to share this one too.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/36947402" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe> <br />
<a href="http://vimeo.com/36947402">Strength</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/amcmanus">Adam McManus</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-19832657687019999472012-06-09T20:28:00.000-05:002012-06-11T17:05:04.127-05:00Updates, Game Plans, and Coffee EnemasGreetings Friends,<br />
<br />
It's time for your favorite cancer update.....<br />
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I met with my oncologist team earlier this week and we had some great chats. We looked at my labs and talked about how low they still are. My white blood cell count is in the 2.5 range which is yucky and explains why I am so tired, but it is high enough to keep doing chemo. In August it dropped under 1 and that is when we pulled the plug on the last 2 treatments. This is good news. My doctor is impressed that my body has handled these treatments so well and I FEEL LIKE CRAP! It was good hearing that he is happy with everything, because I have been struggling lately. Struggling with how bad I feel ALL THE TIME. Honestly, I have wanted to quit. On a side note, I need to give a shout out to God for protecting our family's health over this year. I have a weak immune system and with 3 little kids should have gotten sick many MANY times, but we have had ZERO sickness. It has been incredible.<br />
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"Your liver looks like a 80 year old alcoholic". My doctor thought that that was funny, I was quite horrified. But he reassured me that my liver will bounce back. And that my liver is not cancer-sick it is chemo-sick. Does that sound better? Cause it is. It means my liver is struggling because of the treatments, pain pills, and other drugs. NOT because cancer is spreading. GOOD NEWS! It also means that I get to start a new "fun" regime. *Disclaimer: If you have a weak stomach go ahead and skip to the next paragraph. Two words my friends: Coffee enema. It is exactly what you think it is, and it is going to save my liver. Who knew??!!!<br />
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The end is near. After looking at labs and chatting about coffee up my bum, we decided that my body is starting to just "BE DONE". So we are going to finish with chemo AUGUST 1st!!!! Which is beyond awesome! Stage 3 Melanoma is a mean cancer and has a high chance of spreading again (60-70% reoccurrence rate) which is why we have been doing this treatment for a YEAR! We are praying that every cancer cell in my body is destroyed and DOES NOT GROW AGAIN!<br />
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On October 3rd we are do a big MRI, the kind where you lay in a plastic tube for a couple hours. On October 8th we'll go over the results. Hopefully that day we will hear the phrase NED, which means NO EVIDENCE of DISEASE. Which means I still have cancer, but it is NOT alive in my body. We talked about this for awhile. Apparently cancer survivors really struggle with the "after" treatment. I have been in "fight-mode" for over a year and then on October 8th, I just what? stop? Nope, cause I am still fighting, but it will be more of a mental battle not the physical one. Every headache, sneeze, restless night of sleep will be a struggle. "Is the cancer back?" "Has it spread again?" That will be a struggle and I am sure I will write about it more later.<br />
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So only 9 more weeks to go.....<br />
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I want to give a shout out to everyone who has prayed with us over this last year. I have felt every prayer and needed EVERY single one of them. We couldn't have done this journey without of prayer community. You guys rock!<br />
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<br />Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-45527130262274216122012-04-17T22:19:00.008-05:002012-04-19T20:18:06.241-05:00One year later.<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-weight: normal; "><span >It has been a year since I first heard the words, "you have cancer." A year since I heard words like: melanoma, malignant, tumor, stage 3, and "this is serious."</span></span><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >This year has been quite a ride. I have had: 3 surgeries, an 8 day stay in the hospital, 18 days of 4 hour rounds of chemo, 4 MRIs, 2 emergency trips to the ER, x-rays, 6 skin biopsies, more doctor appointments than I can count, 6 weeks of physical therapy, and have given myself a shot of low dose chemo 3 times a week for over 7 months. </span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >On this cancerversary, my first of what I pray is A LOT, I wanted to talk about that day a year ago. The day I heard that cancer was trying to kill me.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >"Jen McManus, the results are back. It is a malignant melanoma tumor. The is very serious."</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >...</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >"I better not die. I can't. Do you hear me, God?" It was my first reaction. It was short. A simple cry, prayer, and request to God.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >...</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><span>"Jesus, I need you right now. You are the only one that can comfort me at this second. You knew </span>suffering<span>. You knew pain. You knew what it feels like to cry out for your life. And I need you to hold me."</span></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >...</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >"How I am going to tell Adam?" He is so strong and was so sure that this was nothing.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >...</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >"I am a tough chick and I am SO going to beat this crap!"</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >...</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >"Ok maybe not that strong. But with God's help I can beat this...............right?"</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >...</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >"God if I don't beat this, please help my see that Your plan is good. Because right now Your plan does not feel "good".</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >...</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >"I can't believe that I have cancer. How can a person who is not even sick have cancer? This has to be a dream?! Wake up, Jen. Wake up! This is not fair."</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >...</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >"Nope, this is fair. So many people out there are getting this same news, but they don't have the hope of the gospel. I do. I need to show them that that changes everything. I am not scared."</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >...</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >"Ugh I am scared. I am scared for my kids. How do you tell your kids? Will they understand? Will this hurt them? Will they blame God and hurt? This feels more real when I think about my kids. They need me to be strong."</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >....</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >"Will I be strong? Can I be strong?" </span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >....</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >"Jesus, be my strength. This is going to be a long journey. Life as I know it changes right this second."</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >Wow. It feels crazy remembering that day in such a real way. In so many ways those thoughts, concerns, and fears are VERY different now. But, in so many ways they are very much the same.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >I am not dead yet! To any cancer patient this is a big deal. The statistics for someone fighting stage 3 melanoma are not fun to read. And, to be honest I try to ignore them. 1 year later and God still has me here and that is worth celebrating.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >I still need Jesus everyday. In moments when it would be easy to cry out in anger, I find myself instead crying for the comfort from a Savior that hurt just like I do. I love that God's perfect plan gave us someone who just "understands" everything we feel. My Jesus has felt everything I have, and that is so comforting when treatment gets tough.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >It was so hard telling Adam that I had cancer and telling him that it had spread was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But he has been incredible in this journey. He continues to write me letters everyday: <a href="http://letterstojen.com/">letterstojen.com </a>. I couldn't fight this fight without him.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >I am a tough chick, but cancer is mean. I still get sick A LOT. I get fevers, body aches, headaches, and nausea. I'm tired all the time. But, I continue to drag myself to bootcamp 3X a week. It is not pretty, but physically I keep fighting. </span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >Having people who pray for me daily has been one of the biggest blessings to me. There are people all over the world praying for me, and I feel every one of them. All I have to do is tweet that I am having trouble and BOOM people begin praying for me. Thank you everyone!</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >God's plan still doesn't seem all that "good" to me, but I have seen "good" in this situation. God has used my cancer journey to show others His perfect love. I have seen my kids knowledge of Jesus and how faithful God is grow so much this year. And, I have been given opportunity after opportunity to share my story with so many. That is definitely....GOOD!</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >It still feels like this is just one big dream. Actually, it feels more like a nightmare at times. I wake up every day, and one of my first thoughts is "oh crap, I still have cancer." Some days, it feels like it was just yesterday when we heard the word: cancer. Other days, it feels like we have been fighting cancer for years. </span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div><span ><span>I wore a LIVESTRONG bracelet long before I was </span>diagnosed<span> with cancer. Living with cancer has been very eye opening. There are so many people out there fighting this journey alone with no hope but their own strength. That makes me sad. I will continue to show others that God does not want us to be alone in this fight. </span></span></div><div><span ><br /></span></div><div><span><span >I am still scared for my kids. I'm scared that they don't get it. I'm scared that they don't understand why I am sick all the time. I hate when I hear things like "Mom, I know we can't cause you are sick, but tomorrow can we go to the park?" Or, when I have to answer the tough questions like: "Mom, so and so said that you are going to heaven, is that true?" But, I still get to be home with them full time and we find a way to make our crazy McManus Life work.</span></span></div><div><span ><br /></span></div><div><span><span >I am physically weak. I am mentally weak. And some days I feel spiritually weak. I don't feel strong. I don't feel like myself. The drugs I am on are powerful, and I hate them. BUT I continue to tell myself that with God's strength and love I am very STRONG!</span></span></div><div><span><span ><br /></span></span></div><div><span >One year later, life has changed so much; yet, in many ways not at all.</span></div>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-43594791748051092212012-03-07T22:21:00.002-06:002012-03-13T10:31:26.979-05:00An update and moreSome days I try my hardest to forget that I don't have cancer. On those days I try to just live life. Some days it works. I forget for a moment that cancer is trying to kill me. Here is one of those days. My brother came to visit and we went and did all the tourist "stuff" in Austin. Like taking a picture in front of a big longhorn. (only in Texas)<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmQPVFZt_7zZq4M9lz_88N_CX5nS1c3G-4woXzDHSK6f2z70_PxfRusw7whWL29CXXcwP34C403y4PKu_IEiHpT_x_2vr1s-ksvlYdtHgJKlhrUt49wzpm1b1gM48FQZZPvBa4hFBT_w/s1600/430095_10150559333127407_500737406_9260598_1072424101_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmQPVFZt_7zZq4M9lz_88N_CX5nS1c3G-4woXzDHSK6f2z70_PxfRusw7whWL29CXXcwP34C403y4PKu_IEiHpT_x_2vr1s-ksvlYdtHgJKlhrUt49wzpm1b1gM48FQZZPvBa4hFBT_w/s320/430095_10150559333127407_500737406_9260598_1072424101_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5717764229815950402" border="0" /></a><br /></div>Then there are the other days.....The days that I really feel like I have cancer.<br /><br />One of my biggest struggles is the mental battle cancer wages with you. Having a deadly cancer and trying to beat it takes quite a toll on your mind. I try to do a good job staying positive and I have a strong faith. But some days my mind is weak. My doctor has me on some heavy medications that also make my head fuzzy. I am worst at night after the kids go to bed and find myself most nights just laying on the couch. (That is why I haven't been blogging a lot, it is really hard to even put sentences together)<br /><br />I am sick and tired all the time. I struggle with headaches from the chemo and frequently have a ice pack on my head to help with the swelling(yes my BRAIN SWELLS...scary huh?) and pain. I have a fever every other day. It usually breaks at around 103 degrees. I hate having a fever!!! I throw up a lot from the meds I'm taking. I am tired.....really tired. Like I sleep over 12 hours a day and am still tired. I get mouth sores, have really dry skin, have thinning hair again, and overall feel like crap all the time.<br /><br />I am not myself. I try so hard to smile. To be joyful. To laugh. But at nights when I am the sickest, I just can't. I'm on so many meds that mess with my head and most of the time they keep me from being myself. I tried new meds last week and I hate them. They make me loopy and kind of crazy. And I hate feeling that way.<br /><br />I still work out. I know that you think that it is crazy. But it is the ONE thing that hasn't changed. Well kind of. Unfortunately I am weak. I can't do what I used to be able to do physically. But I still try. My doctor and I agree that going to the gym is one of the reasons I am able to still do this treatment. Did you know that over 70% of people with this cancer do NOT complete the year of chemo? They just give up or their body gives up. Going to the gym is how I fight this from happening to me.<br /><br />I have a serious, deadly cancer, and I ignore that a lot. I don't ignore that I am sick. I feel sick. But I do ignore the seriousness of my type of cancer. Is that weird? I am not sure. A doctor asked me what kind of cancer I had. When I told him, his face went white and he said that he was so sorry. That felt really weird.<br /><br />I don't know how you can help me. I'm not good at letting people help out. It makes me feel weak. And I HATE feeling weak. And to be honest I am not sure what I need help with. We have a routine that works right now. And we just keep swimming.<br /><br />My doctor wants me to go to some cancer camp. Rock climbing and river kayaking in Colorado. It sounds interesting. But I really just want to go to Disneyworld with my family. And I want to go to Haiti with my husband and our friends at @HELP.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;">BUT</span><br /><br />Life is still quite perfect. My kids are awesome and we really love the routine we have right now. I can still go to Connor's karate here and there, I love coloring and laying low on my "sick days", we live in the best city that gives us chances to have fun outside and together, I have friends who love me, a Mom who talks to me whenever I need her, and a husband who rocks my socks off. No, seriousily he is really the best. He continues to write me letters everyday (<a href="http://letterstojen.com/">http://letterstojen.com/</a>), lays on the couch with me every night, gets up with the kids when I have bad mornings, and makes me laugh.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqZbqYg8bOz1jvhY4CnHxAZQ8b2jmErXJcpFuyZ17aQRxIjVN2KYXYTq0TXulSqLXgeGEq7Bc5o2MO3L6f3i81Xk-Cp-UwX1Y6eHANTtK0XZXvepXI8O5PYQy-r9G9NnLBUiSqqtE8cQ/s1600/426022_10150588734647407_500737406_9370507_1142765833_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqZbqYg8bOz1jvhY4CnHxAZQ8b2jmErXJcpFuyZ17aQRxIjVN2KYXYTq0TXulSqLXgeGEq7Bc5o2MO3L6f3i81Xk-Cp-UwX1Y6eHANTtK0XZXvepXI8O5PYQy-r9G9NnLBUiSqqtE8cQ/s320/426022_10150588734647407_500737406_9370507_1142765833_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5719401706260682866" border="0" /></a><br />AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I still love Jesus. Ha that sounds funny huh? But I really do. It would be really easy for me to have a problem with Jesus. It would be easy to play the "why me?" game, but I don't at all. I love Him more than ever. I have seen Him get me through so much and I really do feel so lucky and so loved. I trust and believe that His plan is perfect for me. And having cancer will not change that.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">*Medical Update: I go in for x-rays next week to make sure everything still looks "good" and that there is no new cancer. We decided to keep trying this higher dosage of chemo even though it took me out for a week or so. We want to get as much in my body as we can, which makes a lot of sense to me. </span>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-30317184936807067612012-02-23T23:10:00.005-06:002012-02-23T23:34:09.365-06:00LIVESTRONG marathonHave you ever ran a marathon? Is it a dream of yours?<br /><br />Me? Nope, NO WAY! Never ever EVER. I am not a good runner. And I don't enjoy doing things that I am not good at it, especially for over 4 hours!<br /><br />But on Sunday I was honored to be apart of this race:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxJAOoUpScyaB1lTLCDlj70cnkqsZc7XGMHIH8rW6Yl8AyJ-_Mbb8Nc5ZwRYus3oadND2G3GSmov_96JMVfAWLhEROxN8ebwnOvPfDEtyvoHw36qMp8UTQ5S1pAywktsM7mVi5491WcA/s1600/livestrong-marathon-600x462.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 246px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxJAOoUpScyaB1lTLCDlj70cnkqsZc7XGMHIH8rW6Yl8AyJ-_Mbb8Nc5ZwRYus3oadND2G3GSmov_96JMVfAWLhEROxN8ebwnOvPfDEtyvoHw36qMp8UTQ5S1pAywktsM7mVi5491WcA/s320/livestrong-marathon-600x462.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712566797371570850" border="0" /></a>Nope, I did not run. Not strong enough to do that. But I did stand out at Mile Marker 10 for hours cheering on as many as I could. We have been a huge fan of LIVESTRONG since Lance started it. We actually joked about how we loved LIVESTRONG before it got "cool". And then I got cancer. And then it became very REAL! And keeping you body as strong as you can became ever more REAL! Working out has become a huge part of my treatment. Even on days when I don't want to, I get my butt to the gym.<br /><br />So when I had some friends asking if they could run for me in the upcoming LIVESTRONG marathon, I was honored. And beyond excited to get out there and cheer for them. So I made some signs, got up early, found the perfect spot, and cheered and cheered and CHEERED!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixNgAvj9HfnFHSamLEiehGRLVXy09-8pXS68oumDUT-qEulJqFdhgU0ImMMmV84X7kiaSLKirLvWliaT0d6x4-nIZSGwm1YXomSqwgOwfpNadSsB7mw7mg36Dp_Q_qMe3ynbYljAcpNg/s1600/Al_PvbKCAAA56YI.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 191px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixNgAvj9HfnFHSamLEiehGRLVXy09-8pXS68oumDUT-qEulJqFdhgU0ImMMmV84X7kiaSLKirLvWliaT0d6x4-nIZSGwm1YXomSqwgOwfpNadSsB7mw7mg36Dp_Q_qMe3ynbYljAcpNg/s320/Al_PvbKCAAA56YI.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712566925607838338" border="0" /></a>It was an incredible experience. There was almost 20,000 people at the LIVESTRONG half and full marathon all out running for someone they cared about or loved. It felt electric out there. And for the first time in my life I considered running! WHAT??!!! And I might have told someone that if I beat this crap I want to do just that.....run a marathon. (crazy!!)<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZJ847w0vdXsi1v1yu1YCz7FbY0hLawqGogEGX3_0dBaPWHJTiHAZO8314D7Gre60JxBJXLRtrdLhqN7vq2ZVSyWTjEbOmObSzzzK7GrpcSwFCUV8E212bX9SCc-v4ANX23qPgXGh8fg/s1600/395854_10151307496380072_781880071_23065903_2018040981_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZJ847w0vdXsi1v1yu1YCz7FbY0hLawqGogEGX3_0dBaPWHJTiHAZO8314D7Gre60JxBJXLRtrdLhqN7vq2ZVSyWTjEbOmObSzzzK7GrpcSwFCUV8E212bX9SCc-v4ANX23qPgXGh8fg/s320/395854_10151307496380072_781880071_23065903_2018040981_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712566858002317986" border="0" /></a>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-1176066853357375512012-02-16T23:21:00.002-06:002012-02-16T23:38:41.124-06:00Please be my strength...Today is my 200th day on chemo.....<br /><br />And to celebrate my body has completely failed me. This week has been super hard. Side effects that are usually pretty bad were worst. And I have been getting some new ones.<br /><br />Instead of being sad about a bad week, I have made a video that I pray encourages you today.....<br /><br />I miss my hair. I battled with it a lot in the past, but now that it is gone I miss it more than I ever thought I would. Yesterday while washing my hair a clump came out. I forgot that it could fall out again now that I am on a stronger chemo dosage. That made me so sad. Sad because it has taken months and months for my hair to grow.<br /><br />It reminded me of the thousands of people out there beginning their cancer journey. I thought about all the women who are scared about what cancer will do to their hair. And I closed my eyes and prayed for them.<br /><br />So I put together a little video. A video that I pray brings others hope. Hope that only our God can give them.<br /><br />Be strong my friends....And find strength in Jesus......<br /><br /><iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/36947402" webkitallowfullscreen="" mozallowfullscreen="" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" width="500"></iframe>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-17672453006281007072012-02-13T21:21:00.003-06:002012-02-13T21:50:28.464-06:00Trouble with blogging....I started posting years ago because of one reason: LAZYNESS. We didn't have any family living near us and I was in charge of getting new pics of babies out to all the grandparents and other families. No one was on Facebook and email was painful, so Adam hooked me up with this blog.<br /><br />Now I have people all over heading over to see how I am doing. I talked about fostercare and adoption a lot before cancer. And now it feels like this blog is about cancer a lot. Which makes sense because cancer consumes a lot of our life right now.<br /><br />I am trying to write about other stuff, but I have one other problem. I am on A LOT of freaky meds. Freaky meds that make me very tired and very not all the way there. My head is very fuzzy. I can't remember a lot of regular stuff. I am not smart. And I simply can't write easily. This is really hard for me and one of my top "HATES" in this cancer journey. (SO if you want to help me out, send me questions and I can answer them. That way I don't have to sit here and try to come up with stuff)<br /><br />Good news I heard a rough cut of the video The Austin Stone story team is doing on this cancer journey. And it sounded great. Excited to see how God will use this story to help and encourage others. I am scared about being so raw in front of SO many people, but if it means one person sees the Gospel then my pride can be deal with it.<br /><br />sneak peek:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7OcUlQG522pfBcdBBGA3Y05YrB4AQ7DC7OkSJFXqaqDlATrb-tRPzT05Ut8-rzG25_Ew48Hr7DflEzsE8QuNPQ5hUecJOCEqloNZ3upRSHxNI39xGrZQCS7usm-KIIyGcbosE0AdFJA/s1600/425700_10150509275172407_500737406_9121785_772324515_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 318px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7OcUlQG522pfBcdBBGA3Y05YrB4AQ7DC7OkSJFXqaqDlATrb-tRPzT05Ut8-rzG25_Ew48Hr7DflEzsE8QuNPQ5hUecJOCEqloNZ3upRSHxNI39xGrZQCS7usm-KIIyGcbosE0AdFJA/s320/425700_10150509275172407_500737406_9121785_772324515_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5708831863894513282" border="0" /></a><br />UPDATE: I am on a higher dosage of chemo and I am doing OK! Fevers, headaches, and puking but I think that I can do it. Praying that my body gets used to it and we can keep going. Kill that cancer!Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-59474764977509759682012-01-26T22:31:00.010-06:002012-01-26T23:40:55.231-06:00Let's go ride a bike...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip9WQdgCLTo-6W7BBbQ4jKkk-omzIirzl-im-xJfOtbovHSUlbCg0b0dwYtopTf_jRrxbG9E7NGeB5Aqg_nhJ-CIJpbTL26jjVNA0TxyvP4mWprGBUsWf8-_HCqk9-bV0WWo0FU2ai-w/s1600/420605_10150493865752407_500737406_9078570_1540456482_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip9WQdgCLTo-6W7BBbQ4jKkk-omzIirzl-im-xJfOtbovHSUlbCg0b0dwYtopTf_jRrxbG9E7NGeB5Aqg_nhJ-CIJpbTL26jjVNA0TxyvP4mWprGBUsWf8-_HCqk9-bV0WWo0FU2ai-w/s320/420605_10150493865752407_500737406_9078570_1540456482_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702165860683147490" border="0" /></a>We are an outside kind of family. We love doing things out and about. And especially if it involves bikes. I have raced a triathlon and was training for another when I was diagnosed with cancer. Adam does a competition with a couple buddies to see how many miles he can ride in one year. And he just accepted a position with a company who is all about cycling called "Map My Fitness"(Yay Adam!). Watching the Tour de France is a 3 week event in our house each summer.<br /><br />One of the reasons we love Austin so much is because this city is all about getting outside and doing something too. And this city LOVES cycling. So it is a celebration when our kids start riding with us.<br /><br />Connor picked up riding a two-wheeler very quickly. He kind of just got it. He has no fear and just jumped on and went. His current love is his roller-blades and that kid is CRAZY on them. We will soon have a little half ramp so he can learn how to do more tricks. If that kids is outside on something that "goes" then he is in heaven.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMt2pHXlYu2mJUOjj4-y0K-h9FkeK7al2W0lFkIUJ9wfUu6kVHSQFvOvx70h5EPJZsFBgWh70hd75Qlhh3EOye0JAbTPYf9x8rAbMBS7PAatxCsGeW-ejmOgkLVW04pHaF8g47c1rz8w/s1600/IMAG0994.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 191px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMt2pHXlYu2mJUOjj4-y0K-h9FkeK7al2W0lFkIUJ9wfUu6kVHSQFvOvx70h5EPJZsFBgWh70hd75Qlhh3EOye0JAbTPYf9x8rAbMBS7PAatxCsGeW-ejmOgkLVW04pHaF8g47c1rz8w/s320/IMAG0994.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702182244772872082" border="0" /></a>Bryce is another story. He does not enjoy "trying" anything new. He wants to do things that he is good at and bike riding was not one of those things. We got him a big wheel when we was 3 and he has been dominating the road on that thing ever since. And to be honest Adam and I thought that he would ride that thing forever.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp5Vx7ENNoexgDBaepOiIhuCZvm1jwC1sjUYtszTDdmquMAlg_J6sguTrm9GqhLSUBUyPbvtKj_Ok8R9i_qCrXiHR7evGRVx3Js1ylbD-9UcmT8ppTf64VUgaWeY7oZWJyWgRSxwpZJg/s1600/IMG_3535.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp5Vx7ENNoexgDBaepOiIhuCZvm1jwC1sjUYtszTDdmquMAlg_J6sguTrm9GqhLSUBUyPbvtKj_Ok8R9i_qCrXiHR7evGRVx3Js1ylbD-9UcmT8ppTf64VUgaWeY7oZWJyWgRSxwpZJg/s320/IMG_3535.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702172981804595618" border="0" /></a> But about a week ago he told me that he wanted to ride a two wheel bike(which made me a little nervous). But I wanted him to do it, so we started practicing. I let him just tool around on the bike without worrying about the pedals at first. He got used to balancing on the bike and how to put his feet down when the bike was tipping over. Then today we tried pedaling. I held onto the back of the seat for about a minute until he got the feel and then.....OFF HE WENT. He just got it. He rode all day long and was so proud of himself. And we are super proud of him too. Way to go, Bubba!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu_9obDtw4m_tf88-0IuUvQdbXcRJSacu3mbnTawP8SvmdbIYh5uwy887dwjkv9M1_KewmCWrRAc8aAw20n5F5S3jRWCsLzSuOHxzfiMOj2ICSgqMnwlJmO_DRBFgcoQfKBYRtRqfvYA/s1600/IMAG0998.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 191px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu_9obDtw4m_tf88-0IuUvQdbXcRJSacu3mbnTawP8SvmdbIYh5uwy887dwjkv9M1_KewmCWrRAc8aAw20n5F5S3jRWCsLzSuOHxzfiMOj2ICSgqMnwlJmO_DRBFgcoQfKBYRtRqfvYA/s320/IMAG0998.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702169263601827986" border="0" /></a>We only have one more McManus to go....<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV69DX67QFUCq_3xv_iRsYH9-pFBwrYiURm14eBmIH6HBjQUkxJvG75hv91fxV1Qa1bxePVW6YsBUIzSw4H_TsD4LOxnCjY84joQmBVyFQzO96eSgfvmv0pzkWy7hRVmkQQsTpyrTAGw/s1600/IMAG0993.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 191px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV69DX67QFUCq_3xv_iRsYH9-pFBwrYiURm14eBmIH6HBjQUkxJvG75hv91fxV1Qa1bxePVW6YsBUIzSw4H_TsD4LOxnCjY84joQmBVyFQzO96eSgfvmv0pzkWy7hRVmkQQsTpyrTAGw/s320/IMAG0993.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702169009451808034" border="0" /></a>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-89215741184229682742012-01-21T23:10:00.012-06:002012-01-22T22:09:26.186-06:00How are the kids doing?I get asked this question a lot. And it is a good one.<br /><br />The fast simple answer is "They just don't get it" and "They are doing fine." But the truth is: it is a little bit more complicated than that.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvqUfZNd-sk6lVuuuz0RThaDwYsMFN1GKxMBSF5xHsQmQVl9hDwsjg6C5BwuZaHeHhYgpaBiV2scDTFUlPm9QdiSYT4RZJZW0SBxypN9uCb0qvjwAXnZbrNbibBfar3xxqVWg3-_xHIA/s1600/270a2bb83f0011e19e4a12313813ffc0_7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvqUfZNd-sk6lVuuuz0RThaDwYsMFN1GKxMBSF5xHsQmQVl9hDwsjg6C5BwuZaHeHhYgpaBiV2scDTFUlPm9QdiSYT4RZJZW0SBxypN9uCb0qvjwAXnZbrNbibBfar3xxqVWg3-_xHIA/s320/270a2bb83f0011e19e4a12313813ffc0_7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700326775302122690" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Connor </span>knows that I am sick. He has seen me at some of my worst moments and has even shed a few tears. But life for Connor is pretty wonderful. On my bad days he gets extra Wii time and time on the computer. We go to the gym 3X a week and he loves it there. He loves playing basketball, dodge ball, and helping the teachers. He also LOVES doing karate and is really good at it. We kept Connor at home this year and have been doing school with him. He is doing awesome. Connor is the oldest and loves being the boss, but I have loved watching him become a more compassionate and better older brother every day. He is my helper, and he is very excited about calling 9-1-1 if I ever need him to, seriously he asks quite a bit if he can call me an ambulance. Ha<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzOz2oqY7vrSMxXXl_h2eOMsyhkZ4Q4pMK-qZIKlcwmT_M18c0hUiGQ3II4cVZ3edf_xO5YMyW0_ZzLNaEn7xS-2sww-xOXErv7j512fvoCAHa6rQw8mLPHhr9cQyhyjPTHzA35E_v-A/s1600/72046fc8409c11e19896123138142014_7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzOz2oqY7vrSMxXXl_h2eOMsyhkZ4Q4pMK-qZIKlcwmT_M18c0hUiGQ3II4cVZ3edf_xO5YMyW0_ZzLNaEn7xS-2sww-xOXErv7j512fvoCAHa6rQw8mLPHhr9cQyhyjPTHzA35E_v-A/s320/72046fc8409c11e19896123138142014_7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700328591940480866" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiseQMe1QKCxxSaXRs6lJvF94Lh9aX-USVCbbuzuS9Tt4uUP0JmWHpQDJLBRqYuqQudzG6GYZfGsEJkyaBo83m3g3Dw0wA9Qqocr-4Nrsx7kuCOEcxU4jqA8Ftl5C_zPDmier0LJ3y8bA/s1600/49ogw.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiseQMe1QKCxxSaXRs6lJvF94Lh9aX-USVCbbuzuS9Tt4uUP0JmWHpQDJLBRqYuqQudzG6GYZfGsEJkyaBo83m3g3Dw0wA9Qqocr-4Nrsx7kuCOEcxU4jqA8Ftl5C_zPDmier0LJ3y8bA/s320/49ogw.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700326717940317826" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Bryce</span> doesn't understand that I am sick. But he gets that he can cuddle and lay on the couch with me A LOT and he LOVES that! And he also loves all the extra TV time. His personality is more of an at-home kind of dude, so he has loved that we stay in the house a lot more. One of our favorite things to do is coloring and drawing. I draw a picture of him and he colors it. He is the first person in the house to notice when I am having a good day and actually get dressed up, hair done, and make up on. And he still thinks that I am pretty. ( I love that)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXw3b8E7AHjzaFoPf7tGco6tnMtyNfOhOgX7n5yt_raDXFOWlGeJ68mOIuCk7OReD2A-8ERMW6idf7h5EwgAa59v3IlYQO3Byh9RIOCAQ8UAGRNAYcWpD9OSn-NsTEzigA3mj0A1gtxA/s1600/79k8hw.htm"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 191px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXw3b8E7AHjzaFoPf7tGco6tnMtyNfOhOgX7n5yt_raDXFOWlGeJ68mOIuCk7OReD2A-8ERMW6idf7h5EwgAa59v3IlYQO3Byh9RIOCAQ8UAGRNAYcWpD9OSn-NsTEzigA3mj0A1gtxA/s320/79k8hw.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700328171236578514" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCpn2ibFkgZP4WMNgno87b7Nilx7E7QSkclZQcyyn5xGYNXC0_XcjwG4KnbLPGxkmePLWr_20tR81A4GO32lac1S6d75FAgtk_CmuGzPEvlrnOBY9fwppCU4tg5eKiTkkWQaVDdsZ9KQ/s1600/78dcf0967a3f4cc6844d1475fb793772_7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCpn2ibFkgZP4WMNgno87b7Nilx7E7QSkclZQcyyn5xGYNXC0_XcjwG4KnbLPGxkmePLWr_20tR81A4GO32lac1S6d75FAgtk_CmuGzPEvlrnOBY9fwppCU4tg5eKiTkkWQaVDdsZ9KQ/s320/78dcf0967a3f4cc6844d1475fb793772_7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700327257561574562" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Alexis</span> is having the hardest time with this cancer journey. She is VERY attached to Mommy and all the hospital visits, doctor appointments, surgeries, and laying the couch have her very paranoid. I can't walk into the other room without her checking on me. It is super adorable and super kind of crazy. Poor little thing just knows something is wrong, but she doesn't know what. But because of all this time at home she is also getting pretty spoiled. I take a nap every day and so does she, so naturally we take a nap together. I haven't broken her enough to mess up her sleeping in her bed in her room at night, but naptime....yup I have broken that one. We love having a couple minutes to giggle and talk before we fall asleep. She is the first McManus kiddo who has been all about Mom, and secretly I LOVE IT! But I do worry that she doesn't understand what is going on and the fact that I can't get up to go to the bathroom without her freaking out is pretty disconcerting. Luckily, she loves going to church and the gym and has never cried there, so she can't be too broken. She also thinks that she has a headache whenever I have one too.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkrLSwjWSI9bfo6SEcSqh7paSi13L-HcWQeAIrxCVNqhE5VAASTHTDzQ7CIN8a134GHYgjweOTz-Xy-6Opl-EGppqdXaN5LEnqBUF6pAVDKf4AchbFrf4yuDAOtIt40Rns9YyFKW0tDw/s1600/c660dc5a1de711e1abb01231381b65e3_7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkrLSwjWSI9bfo6SEcSqh7paSi13L-HcWQeAIrxCVNqhE5VAASTHTDzQ7CIN8a134GHYgjweOTz-Xy-6Opl-EGppqdXaN5LEnqBUF6pAVDKf4AchbFrf4yuDAOtIt40Rns9YyFKW0tDw/s320/c660dc5a1de711e1abb01231381b65e3_7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700327330712876386" border="0" /></a><br />Because I am sick or laying on the couch more than ever, Daddy has had more and more "kid time" lately. And I love that. Dad just does the "cool stuff" and the boys especially love it. One of their favorite activities is going out into the woods and just exploring. I hate having cancer and I hate being sick and I HATE fighting so hard to live. But God is so good and He gives me these moments that make my heart sing.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcid8DNL3sqouKCqb6e7GwrDlauAY52oYff4_cnbKRC0yQ-S7jyc2mrC3Fjy7CHiU3CoH9WBJd7NU8Eyf_gaqZq1mGK3R3wTZJgoWwjeDSY4stHj4yI0hwN-khyDaNZLiBrlrDTtw6Jw/s1600/instagr.am.htm"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcid8DNL3sqouKCqb6e7GwrDlauAY52oYff4_cnbKRC0yQ-S7jyc2mrC3Fjy7CHiU3CoH9WBJd7NU8Eyf_gaqZq1mGK3R3wTZJgoWwjeDSY4stHj4yI0hwN-khyDaNZLiBrlrDTtw6Jw/s320/instagr.am.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700328108987363874" border="0" /></a><br />It's hard having cancer at such a young age. And it's even harder being a wife and Mom. But it is not quite as hard having cancer with kids who are young. And I praise God for that. I am strong and I think that I am fighting this fight pretty well. BUT if I had to watch my kids struggle with having a Mom who is sick, that would be too difficult. I don't have to answer any "big" questions yet. They don't have any anxiety or even get what cancer is. They have never lost anyone close to them, so they don't really get that either.<br /><br />So, their Mom lays on the couch more than usual. So, the littlest one REALLY loves her Mommy. So, all the kids get just a little bit more Daddy-time. So what? Connor, Bryce, and Alexis' Mommy has cancer, and it is not really a big deal.<br /><br />So, when you ask me "How are the kids doing?" The truth really is..."Great."<br /><br />Praise God for that.Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-61094756000790391842012-01-17T19:57:00.003-06:002012-01-17T20:41:02.070-06:00Good News but NOT Great NewsLast night was a BAD night. I consider myself a tough cookie, but every once in awhile chemo completely kicks my pants. I had a high fever, body tremors, killer headache, and puking lots of puking. Mentally I felt weak, very weak. There was tears, frustration, and lots of praying. I felt pretty crappy today, luckily Adam stayed home and let me rest. I needed that.<br /><br />I also needed to hear some good news. So when my Doctor's office called with results from last week's biopsy I was excited.<br /><br />Good News: NO NEW CANCER CELLS!!! Praise the Lord. That really would have just crushed me.<br /><br />Bad News: It was not a clean result. I had abnormal cells. That could be nothing or it could be something. So we wait and we check it again.<br /><br />I really wanted a clean scan and then a clean biopsy. I wanted to hear "Everything looks great, Jen. Everything is working" But I didn't hear "bad news". And I need to Praise God for that.<br /><br />We have questions. Lots of questions. And will schedule a sit down with my oncology team. Mostly because I don't understand why spots keep showing up(spots that are not from the sun.) And mostly because I don't understand why my body is still struggling so badly on chemo. And mostly because I am bothered that I am still not taking the "full" dosage of chemo. Thanks again for all the prayers. We will keep fighting and continue on.....<br /><br />And here is some more good news: I am a blond again. I was super excited that my hair was growing in. But I was feeling very "boy hair". So I got blond highlights and I feel much better.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiGomS3uSVYtV4D23wvOCcsA89UvHkGfyHqFi2U9HiV-v0mBPFgc-LUDsPtviv51yxwiXznZXgAgICySGFNso5B3-nH61FIpc0lznJCeHowcjYkv6ATx0ZvAC13dv2IHlyNhieCtnbzA/s1600/instagr.am.htm"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiGomS3uSVYtV4D23wvOCcsA89UvHkGfyHqFi2U9HiV-v0mBPFgc-LUDsPtviv51yxwiXznZXgAgICySGFNso5B3-nH61FIpc0lznJCeHowcjYkv6ATx0ZvAC13dv2IHlyNhieCtnbzA/s320/instagr.am.htm" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5698792185890470098" border="0" /></a>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-58777591199198843832012-01-16T20:30:00.003-06:002012-01-16T20:40:04.316-06:00Thoughts from my journal....<span style="font-family: times new roman;">I decided to share some of my thoughts from my journal regularly with you. I will post them on the blog and then have a special page tab so you can go straight there to see the new and old ones all together.....<br /><br />Enjoy.<br /></span><br /><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">Dear God,</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">I went in for another scan today. I really thought that this one would be completely clean. I really thought that we “deserved” good news this time. I really thought that I needed to hear that they found nothing this time. I really…….</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">The Doctor did find another suspicious spot. And today I was reminded that this is going to be a loooooong battle. I may not always take having an incurable cancer seriously. Today I do.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">I “deserve” a lot worse. And sometimes I need to be reminded. And sometimes I need to remember that you don’t work that way. And that you have already saved me from death.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">-Jan 12<sup>th</sup>, 2012</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">Dear God,</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">I can’t believe this is already my 3<sup>rd</sup> day doing chemo in the infusion room. I call it cancerland, cause that is what it feels like: a different land. The people are soooo sick here. Am I going to get that sick? </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">I sat next to an old man, he was alone and sad looking. I talked to him as we looked at the window. He smiled once and then took a nap. </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">I pretended to take a nap too. But really I just there thinking. Thinking about how blessed I am. And about how I want to share my joy with others. That fact that I can still smile as big as I do is a miracle. </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">And I want to share that with others……</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">-August 3<sup>rd</sup> , 2011</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">Dear God,</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">Bryce asked me today about his future wife. </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>B: Who am I going to marry, Mom?</i></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me: God has picked out a perfect girl for you to marry. But in a long, long, long, time.</i></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>B: Is she going to be pretty?</i></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me: Baby, she is going to be the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. Like a princess!</i></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>B: (huge smile on his face) Wow. God really loves me.</i></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">That was adorable. And he is right, God you do love us!!! </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;">-Jan 15<sup>th</sup>, 2012<br /><br />Dear God,<br /><br />I have been the hospital for 2 days and it really feels like I will never get out of here. I am pretty high right now, so I am sure that this does not make sense.<br /><br />I miss my Adam. And I wish he was here.<br /><br />I am so glad that my Dad is living in Austin now. Everyday I wake up and find him visiting me. He gets up early and heads over to the hospital. He cracks me up because he doesn't wake me up, just turns on the TV, makes some coffee for himself, and sometimes munches on my breakfast. And I LOVE IT!!!<br /><br />Thank you for an earthly Father that just loves me. A Daddy who wakes up early in the morning and heads over to hang out with his daughter in the hospital.<br /><br />-June 17th, 2011<br /></span></div>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-72008842440682008252012-01-04T17:27:00.007-06:002012-01-09T22:49:06.506-06:00Where have you been, Jen?In a short answer? I have been playing "Hotel McManus" for weeks and weeks and weeks now.<br /><br />Whew that was a crazy bunch of weeks. Last summer when the holidays and family plans came up for discussion, everyone (including me) thought that it would be a WONDERFULLY AWESOME idea that I NOT travel during the holidays. I am still taking chemo shots 3X a week so I get sick a lot and have a low immune system so traveling would have been a disaster. But that also meant that I was host to EVERY family member for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. Was I stressed? Nah not really, I love my family. Did I freak out? Nope, although I did make my family help cook ALL those meals. Was it hard work? Maybe. I washed more sheets, blankets, and towels than I have in years. And I cleaned my house like a mad woman. AND I took a nap everyday no matter what everyone else was doing Did you have fun? I had a BLAST and so did everyone else. RIGHT?<br /><br />So that is why I have been so quiet lately. I have been loving and being loved on by my family. And without sounding too sappy and silly, it meant a lot to me. Fighting for your life forces you to look at things differently and one of those things is spending time with family. God hand picked my family just for me and this year I was reminded of that even more.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy9KbZDAIvVVZIRm8123CUrOeFd-B9DKtQu1hxvFdS6AEgxZmePs5n2H9qg68CgLdd7DiPapoMxYeaiRfbH8C4PRpsOxk1eGIrJAb1bJHFjYC5BC-14o9AwzKSdaXTzGvrzbGCV6W_bg/s1600/IMG_0903.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy9KbZDAIvVVZIRm8123CUrOeFd-B9DKtQu1hxvFdS6AEgxZmePs5n2H9qg68CgLdd7DiPapoMxYeaiRfbH8C4PRpsOxk1eGIrJAb1bJHFjYC5BC-14o9AwzKSdaXTzGvrzbGCV6W_bg/s320/IMG_0903.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5695853307451893858" border="0" /></a>This is my Mom's family. We haven't been "all" together since my wedding 9 years ago. What a blast we had. The weather was perfect, we did all the fun tourist things in Austin, and we were VERY LOUD!<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJZUzrANzcwFk04cS4wsnS7r6rl4fIt0SBjr-xqhLDMmro-C4u2MvOvVbFfX-z66pwylsADbJNcagkO2xtGfpD1FJkdcPa15accscfoBJRBx8APRYl_9nUhkNiPfbtegy-a5e8vONDSw/s1600/photo%252812%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJZUzrANzcwFk04cS4wsnS7r6rl4fIt0SBjr-xqhLDMmro-C4u2MvOvVbFfX-z66pwylsADbJNcagkO2xtGfpD1FJkdcPa15accscfoBJRBx8APRYl_9nUhkNiPfbtegy-a5e8vONDSw/s320/photo%252812%2529.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694003741954368034" border="0" /></a>Papa and Debi live in Austin now and we love having them close by. We loved celebrating the season with them. Here we are riding our neighborhood's hayride to see Christmas lights. (That is Hotel McManus in the background, we need to step it up on lights....huh?)<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDVeeZh-pRkabnPKijvRpsO7UFSGblPeiDTXVjc2517kOg9ykH3WQCQ5DMrucmhTZ_JUs-c8v1F-tW6vhskZ8wirgqcRcHPbItPt5yTexGYZ1Et3x8Awl6tEHdlwpRne-u6kI2WrNgyw/s1600/P1020486.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDVeeZh-pRkabnPKijvRpsO7UFSGblPeiDTXVjc2517kOg9ykH3WQCQ5DMrucmhTZ_JUs-c8v1F-tW6vhskZ8wirgqcRcHPbItPt5yTexGYZ1Et3x8Awl6tEHdlwpRne-u6kI2WrNgyw/s320/P1020486.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693923842654070898" border="0" /></a>Adam's parents live 3 hours a way on a boat at the BEACH!!! I love the beach. And I also love that they drive up whenever just to spend time with us. We enjoyed a beautiful Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with Granny and Granddad.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPdganS2GyHLG5zkxSLokXlJGaPTbLA9J1aATsIMzn1bw3gCJQXbDG_2rQlwbsewxiSnGUYpx5V6BWU33HcJaFYLmHzrl67OZ-1q8t1596n2c5vXy-giPsBZD892jSkZZJ-jGpC2dHlQ/s1600/P1020492.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPdganS2GyHLG5zkxSLokXlJGaPTbLA9J1aATsIMzn1bw3gCJQXbDG_2rQlwbsewxiSnGUYpx5V6BWU33HcJaFYLmHzrl67OZ-1q8t1596n2c5vXy-giPsBZD892jSkZZJ-jGpC2dHlQ/s320/P1020492.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5695857093624051506" border="0" /></a>Our oldest "son" Daniel still lives with us (which me might have to do FOREVER) and he loves to invite friends over to stay at our hotel. At one point we had 13 people sleeping in our house.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Have you booked time at the Hotel McManus??? We love hosting. We love having fun sharing our city with others. We love the eating. We love the cleaning (well ok I love the cleaning) And we love loving on others. So when can I pencil you in?<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1KucQEvJc54JfaSljsaBwXvjo84QXKjV064idRFAPpdwbd4jExbQ7a9tTFsP3r3uJp0J9dyqqD1J78EPwWido0eq0w50NChbniDbU48g-5_C1PBNuTYVSPmmdlpt5LCXYxUbrgAtiOg/s1600/P1020542.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1KucQEvJc54JfaSljsaBwXvjo84QXKjV064idRFAPpdwbd4jExbQ7a9tTFsP3r3uJp0J9dyqqD1J78EPwWido0eq0w50NChbniDbU48g-5_C1PBNuTYVSPmmdlpt5LCXYxUbrgAtiOg/s320/P1020542.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5695859493852562898" border="0" /></a><br /></div></div>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-64373508528537436692011-12-12T23:13:00.006-06:002011-12-14T14:07:43.594-06:00It's an update!It is time for another update. So sit back, grab a yummy snack, and enjoy.....<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilrW86JXF7TFOq-T9Qo_cRk4G6jf18GB64pvUgHaWUAnKKVCUEpyotlYydh9IAyS4DMa32ILkWFvYP9y7NrC2Lhvj-6ppH4tKTDvkFsxYLjBfinqgaIiApKzLSwMlHrAPgOiXi1YQtEg/s1600/mcmanus-fam-052.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 218px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilrW86JXF7TFOq-T9Qo_cRk4G6jf18GB64pvUgHaWUAnKKVCUEpyotlYydh9IAyS4DMa32ILkWFvYP9y7NrC2Lhvj-6ppH4tKTDvkFsxYLjBfinqgaIiApKzLSwMlHrAPgOiXi1YQtEg/s320/mcmanus-fam-052.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686077231702483698" border="0" /></a>*I am still riding high from getting good news a month ago. We found another tumor in my leg and had to have it removed and tested, it came back PRE-cancer. It was the first good news we had heard in a long time.<br /><br />*I am still doing chemo at home 3X a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights are still tough for me. My body is fighting HARD, which is good and bad. Good because my body is strong and hopefully that means that all the cancer is getting destroyed! Bad because I experience terrible side effects. I still get high fevers (around 102-103), bad headaches, chills, body aches, and throw up A LOT. I am still only doing a half dose too. My Doctor wants me to get through the Holidays before we discuss upping the dosage.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCqGIKFUhw9eqGnXNp4_1njc7OaVCZ5ksVfzHwYHj8RLcfJKRW0iXwrrQJovBJlkv-BZr8_CnDPbUfanlE-iUGwuBq28SXP76OpYA1PNc0_RKPli-oWBAZs99k8hoOCo2Lx9ILYofUeQ/s1600/08c8fabe1b5411e1a87612313804ec91_7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCqGIKFUhw9eqGnXNp4_1njc7OaVCZ5ksVfzHwYHj8RLcfJKRW0iXwrrQJovBJlkv-BZr8_CnDPbUfanlE-iUGwuBq28SXP76OpYA1PNc0_RKPli-oWBAZs99k8hoOCo2Lx9ILYofUeQ/s320/08c8fabe1b5411e1a87612313804ec91_7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686076975960838226" border="0" /></a>Getting my chemo port taken out!<br /><br /></div>*My lymphedema in my leg is manageable right now(sometimes). My whole left legs still swells up with fluid a lot, but exercise and my compression pants help. I hate this new disease, and will address it more next year. We are looking at getting a manual pump system at home that I could use nightly to help with circulation. This could be a HUGE blessing if we can find a way for insurance to pay for it.<br /><br />*One of the biggest difficulties I am having right now is the fight I have with the medications I take daily. I don't like taking pills. I HATE that I have to take so many of them. And to make matters worse, I'm taking lots of pain pills. I don't like how I feel on them, but it is the only way I can manage pain and honestly it is the ONLY way I can get out of bed most days. With that said, I'm scared of being on pills ALL THE TIME. I have talked to my Doctor about this one too, but he doesn't seem too concerned. 80% of people with my cancer quit the chemo only after a few months, so he wants me to do whatever it takes to stay on this treatment even if it means I become addicted to pain pills. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it doesn't sit well at all. But yay for completing 3 and 1/2 months of chemo at home.<br /><br />*I still make it to the gym 3X a week. I know that this sounds crazy to so many of you. But when we discussed the fight I have ahead of me with my medical team, I understood that to give myself the best chance I HAD to work at keeping my body strong. And so I do just that. I work as hard as I can to stay physically strong. I do bootcamp Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings and I kick my ass every time. I still struggle with the eating "healthy" thing, especially now during the Holidays. Can I get an amen?<br /><br />*Mentally I am doing just ok. Having cancer messes with your head. I have Doctor visits where my mental state is the first thing we talk about and honestly it is one of my Doctor's biggest concerns. Cancer patients struggle with depression and I'm beginning to understand why. I have always been a cheerful person, probably annoyingly cheerful. I am just wired to see life that way. So it was hard for me when the Doctor explained that cancer, chemo, and the medications I would be on WOULD attack my mind and outlook on things. This is a hard battle. And it is just that....a battle. I work hard to keep my body as strong as I can and keeping my mind strong is just as much work. I feel weak mentally. And this is hard for me. I need prayer. I need friends who are willing to just sit and laugh with me. And I need lot's of Jesus.<br /><br />* My stomach looks like a push pin and it is really gross. I know that I am probably being a little dramatic about this one, but I don't care. And I understand and feel for everyone else out there that daily have to give themselves shots, but this seems different. First off just the act of shoving a needle into your stomach is just creepy. But knowingly injecting poison that you KNOW will make you VERY sick it just crazy. I have to mentally talk myself up before each poke. And the skin on my poor stomach is having a hard time with getting stabbed 3X a week.<br /><br />*My hair is growing FAST now. I still get sores on my scalp (I know gross huh?) But the baldness stage is gone (I hope, I could lose my hair again at some point). This makes me happy, because I have always had long hair and I guess it makes me feel prettier. Everyone has been so nice about my hair, but honestly it can hurt me feelings. I don't like my short hair. It is a symbol of something that is trying to kill me. I know that I should be proud of it of the battle I am fighting. I know that I should wear my new hair with pride. But mentally that is just hard for me. I miss my hair and what I used to look like. I miss my husband playing with it. I JUST miss it. So even though I LOVE hearing that you think I am cute, it stings just a little each time.<br /><br />*Some new jewlery. I am on the search for a good medical bracelet. One that I can wear all the time. It is just a smart move. If anything ever happened to me doctors would need to know what I have and what medications I am taking. If I am unconscious then a medical bracelet will help. Anyone know of any good ones? I am currently looking at roadID.<br /><br />*The kids are still doing great! They just don't get it. That is partly because I don't let them see anything bad. And partly because they are just so young. I will tough out most things until they are asleep or gone, then I lose it. I cry, moan, lay on the couch, and complain to Adam once the kids can't see me anymore. I could be doing A LOT better at a lot of my Mom duties, but for now I think we are just holding on. Fostering is still out of the question, which makes me feel sad and weak. I miss my babies. And little Alexis is still having some separation anxiety. She loves her Mommy very much and freaks out whenever I leave.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-Y8RAlREuGtCjNCQUkHgNB-X9Am6pATqFN6jaFwwRG1RkVU7lC7KWlsJ8_lit6fqcyBgyBrcHB-oLWjjsn2k8LYahXlQ4djwTLmtsvfJOOCSXin9n7-ArAknpnB3YTLrd9j4YiJjSNg/s1600/5c7fb1901e9f11e19896123138142014_7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-Y8RAlREuGtCjNCQUkHgNB-X9Am6pATqFN6jaFwwRG1RkVU7lC7KWlsJ8_lit6fqcyBgyBrcHB-oLWjjsn2k8LYahXlQ4djwTLmtsvfJOOCSXin9n7-ArAknpnB3YTLrd9j4YiJjSNg/s320/5c7fb1901e9f11e19896123138142014_7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686076912960637650" border="0" /></a>I think that is it for now. Did I leave something out? Do you have other questions? Then leave a comment and I will answer.....Until next time.....Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-47389513399138719492011-12-06T17:07:00.000-06:002011-12-06T17:30:04.669-06:00ScarsLast week I had my chemo port taken out. For many cancer survivors this is a big day, because it means the end of treatments. For me it was a surgery that needed to be done for practical reasons. One because my doctor was worried about a blood clot forming and two because we have hit our out of pocket limit this year and wanted to get this surgery paid for. Lets hear it for insurance. But it was still a good surgery to be had.<br /><br />I'm doing well. Sore, sick, and tired but that is more because I am still doing chemo 3X a week not because of the surgery.<br /><br />I was thinking about all the surgeries and I had this year(all FOUR of them) and more specifically the new scars I have now. I have 4 new ones. They are big, ugly, and I don't like them. But each one tells a story. A story that I need to be PROUD of.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXrZv8K42nC1E1c4FpiqBJvadu0QlEsooXtQGTA7spARsApKhnEMYpLtFU3zdv_VyW_8-U2P9FBalYOyQCcTxe7B51fCXiIC8MmGnkU7o1ySMEpVsOA9xFOaSt_bDOmU_DfAhyphenhyphenQSywWg/s1600/2baa4d0c203c11e180c9123138016265_7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXrZv8K42nC1E1c4FpiqBJvadu0QlEsooXtQGTA7spARsApKhnEMYpLtFU3zdv_VyW_8-U2P9FBalYOyQCcTxe7B51fCXiIC8MmGnkU7o1ySMEpVsOA9xFOaSt_bDOmU_DfAhyphenhyphenQSywWg/s320/2baa4d0c203c11e180c9123138016265_7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5683153225708422114" border="0" /></a>My physical scars tell a story of God's blessing, hope, healing, love, and the battle Jesus has already won for me. Although they are ugly to the eye they are most precious to me. My physical scars tell the world about my story....no, His story in me. And because of that I will WEAR my new scars with pride. I will not be ashamed of those pink zigzag lines.<br /><br />Friends, I challenge you to do the same. Be proud of your scars. The physical, but more importantly the emotional ones. I have those too. I have had my heart broken by others, been betrayed, lost a baby, watch another baby fight to live, given back my foster babies to another, and now a cancer fight to live as long as God will let me. I have scars from all of those stories, ones that are painful and deep. But there is healing in the hurt. And I want that to be what people see when they see my scars. I want them to see the healing from a Savior who loves us no matter how deep the wounds are.<br /><br />And to be honest no one will see those scars if I don't show them. I could hide all of my physical scars if I wanted to, and no one would ever see them. But I refuse to do that. I want them to shine. I want to do the same thing with my other scars, I want to share those with others too. I understand wanting to hide that hurt, but others out there are hurting with something similar battles. And trust me when I say that sometimes just hearing that someone else has a similar scar makes a world of difference. <br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsiHRyQcunr0kKL9fcXUEsQQ7fHJkl_l_wAF8Y8ZAErQWTst2_xT2oBb6VrJJjVda1two23MuHsvW8dT6IYgQG8e4kszp2QxdTA_q3wgf_bLG3yTMCkopGnpObf1vTXBkIMVZQXW27TA/s1600/3a90b2e0203f11e19896123138142014_7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsiHRyQcunr0kKL9fcXUEsQQ7fHJkl_l_wAF8Y8ZAErQWTst2_xT2oBb6VrJJjVda1two23MuHsvW8dT6IYgQG8e4kszp2QxdTA_q3wgf_bLG3yTMCkopGnpObf1vTXBkIMVZQXW27TA/s320/3a90b2e0203f11e19896123138142014_7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5683153149505357010" border="0" /></a>I want everyone to see the "real" me. The one that has been broken and hurt. The one who has lost so much and yet gained even more. The one that is struggling even right now with fighting cancer. The "real Jen". And I pray that ever scar, battle wound, on the inside or outside points others to Jesus.<br /><br />I invite you to do the same.......Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-85691470623212414672011-12-05T16:35:00.002-06:002011-12-05T16:41:20.026-06:00Visiting with my BroMy brother came to town this weekend and I haven't seen him in a year. Cancer has kind of made me a big sappy baby when it comes to all things family. So I made sure to spend every second loving on my brother this weekend. Unfortunately I am paying for that today. I am sick, tired, and sore. But it was worth it. I love him and love the time I got.<br /><br />Are you seeing family this December?<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIVI9dQUTUcyoYCceI8FkAI9Yd8eg-cowmy9DG-wAQxfg2n0E1Ft9f3XU4HDE7fYEkrB_SLikzNfCA2Ppci6jVq4lkwEIKQePxA6-UMo57IQia3jwNelJ30LIu02f036I-zp1N-gnMpw/s1600/tumblr_lvp695Vu4l1qlbm1a.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIVI9dQUTUcyoYCceI8FkAI9Yd8eg-cowmy9DG-wAQxfg2n0E1Ft9f3XU4HDE7fYEkrB_SLikzNfCA2Ppci6jVq4lkwEIKQePxA6-UMo57IQia3jwNelJ30LIu02f036I-zp1N-gnMpw/s320/tumblr_lvp695Vu4l1qlbm1a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5682776656957457842" border="0" /></a>I'm working on a blog to update everyone on my treatment and look forward to seeing the story God is telling in my life on video soon.......Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-976798912042339372011-11-25T22:58:00.006-06:002011-11-25T23:39:57.305-06:00Being a kid<div style="text-align: left;">This week we took the day off from life and spent it at Sea World. It was a wonderful day with perfect weather, great friends, Christmas shows, rollercoasters, and lots of laughing.</div><div><br /></div><div>It got me thinking. Most days I have a moment or two or three or you get my point when I feel like I could seriously lose my mind. My kids drive me absolutely crazy a lot of the times. Being a Mom is HARD! And doing it 24 hours a day while battling cancer is REALLY HARD. </div><div><br /></div><div>And I confess that there are days that I forget how truly blessed and lucky I am. Sea World could have been another one of those stressful days. Crowds, no naps, horrible unhealthy food, annoying music and shows, noise, and a chemo hangover on top of everything it was a recipe for disaster and it could have left me crying in the corner asking for my Mom. BUT it wasn't. It was a delightful day. A day where I was not an overwhelmed Mom, but a kid too. Adam and I just PLAYED all day long. We rode rides, sang along to an Elmo Christmas show, played, watched the magic of the animal's performances, and giggled. </div><div><br /></div><div>I needed a reminder to live life the way my kids do. They laugh at everything, get excited about anything, and love everyone. I want to live life that way. And it was a good reminder for me. Now excuse me I have to go and a rip very loud whistles out of my boys hands and THROW THEM AWAY! :D</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Here are some pics to enjoy.....</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSTAz9hc48HTs7DOqt0ZyH47a2sVog6N89hFLvMCfqu5DdPeyBkJZYm0VLIxamPrjhd3ChM7hW0UJ0BGrhIN-c0nkcm4urrhA2xR9CT8Ib8pJIUvhLMSZiBNDw_nRx33LG8BT5ipNUhA/s320/IMAG0860.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679165984996314802" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 191px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); ">This boy has been waiting for what seems like forever to him to be tall enough to ride this rollercoaster and HE MADE IT this trip. He rode it 3 times, he is such a stud.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh69LI_bV-2iMi-tj2l1jKOCyMfvysXRpjCrXI7HB7d5sQOg4Pc0CDxGXEj6R4aHryaZSaONvEjmISo6v6RuV3bIHG5O2egobQ_UxUFtKauLMKovMQaRWyaBBZuDKTDOKG07TLpmfcjg/s320/IMAG0857.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679166004858755794" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 191px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); ">Alexis' first carousel ride, she loved it especially the PINK horse part.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBFwc5j9M7ljc0kLr1AfWDgwroqMDbbASw2XjmaAjFdXnNoNLWiiyv1YighuCPYTTTxtX4GRUTvuNEuHB39V2VWCW0qYiWsiC39Uxlnn72VrD8YJHLPaA5r6TZskQP7iHKTPu86H4trQ/s320/IMAG0855.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679165994974099362" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 191px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); ">Bryce found his brave heart and went on the watercoaster with Daddy and Connor, no pics because they did get VERY wet. Good job Bryce.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYEH9N7CiD93n5b4lvmr5p4daW3NHSfQZavR7DAR2NDO4u-NMptionZnl2hzsxFUslkefmKe8dcAsCvE5PGhBIpFtckZfJSjkATVrtpjzqD94k0KvNFePIeqDD2DIpdufv6QF0Z9eQjg/s320/IMAG0851.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679170615648150418" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 191px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); ">Seeing Shamu the for the first time (last time she was just a baby)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVP_91KNuhyW9nYs91kuvEn1idNJH-I2Z7jzXksf9UnhSmu3eLveuY3oRq-1_lNL-LzBFm3gxMpSO57TBdhFkPjzYMirJhow7dr7BUq9VqLKcrYBDF9A_C5k2tVivzy9Y0h5XDwHp-ug/s320/IMAG0849.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679170363815364930" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 191px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000ee;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKm1xob6pTpbwDB5YiQtYTnl4B4uAP27eu6Scw6DEI8BOkys43s6QbXOMkeaQ2BGzTVgga9W80Q7RIJoXWnOKljMAX-432hkSLDswUPWZPfbPfapIfdYIj7VgahsrMBXdYLn77pUQqrA/s320/ecbf9a14159d11e1a87612313804ec91_7.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679166388507681506" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px; " /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">We spent over an hour in this thing, we had a blast. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5E4KFXBuoYkL_3yp63Yt6LxZI3ppzKXKOGKuz7OXp7mq2au231SXagcFkqzGbDHIqQyYQ-ZrDWypKAJVIZ0svzOM5HW_ZhNkWD_vGWRbBZzrLa9aHBUv1GmS00w7akrQFGM7-GkUfWg/s320/IMAG0861.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679165983224442786" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 191px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000ee;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-yhFiL2MwMRyUHsrgbkkWog1a1Yg1NjdoCASmSWtKqe7b1BzWbGn9bmWlSqdSY0F2_t76QPj_puSGb6dGwwl49GMfqW8yAvgGqyHSy6uTsJWucegOb9_CtOzW2Oq4J4Mwlt6awBUtLg/s320/IMAG0885.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679165978285381506" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 191px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); ">We ended the day/evening getting pictures with the Christmas characters, then hit Cracker Barrel for a late dinner. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); ">When was the last time you acted like a kid?</span></span></div>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-3322003913679330192011-11-23T21:43:00.006-06:002011-11-23T22:29:35.966-06:00Being Thankful OR Being a FREAKBeing diagnosed with cancer has changed A LOT of things for me. But one thing that sticks out even more than the being sick all the time, fighting to live, surgery after surgery, being high on pain pills, and losing my hair IS that I do everything in my power to make it so no one knows I have cancer especially my husband and children.<br /><br />It is silly I know, but when you get cancer we can talk. I just don't want my kids sitting around someday thinking "oh yeah, remember when Mom had cancer. We didn't get to do anything." and "She just laid around for a year or so." Now my prayer is that if they ever say anything like that I will be around so I can smack them in the head, but you see what crazy thoughts are in my head. I want 2011 to be a year NOT all about Mom's cancer.<br /><br />So here we are....Thanksgiving. But instead of a post about how thankful I am to be ALIVE (I really should do one of those) I am going to share with you all the cool crafts I have been making my kids do in an effort to trick them into thinking that Mom is A-OK!<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-CN4AXdD83_PmYgD0gswe-uNNjaFP7jkIMBTGMqLMbb1dE8Kubd4UydeU1KDIQr4x8sxCkmUlN7OEqgf57hA62KHZdlyKtmZNYaeoTIhZIcFKYZt32ORbFRekQUx5LqQU0oNaqey3Fw/s1600/P1020480.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-CN4AXdD83_PmYgD0gswe-uNNjaFP7jkIMBTGMqLMbb1dE8Kubd4UydeU1KDIQr4x8sxCkmUlN7OEqgf57hA62KHZdlyKtmZNYaeoTIhZIcFKYZt32ORbFRekQUx5LqQU0oNaqey3Fw/s320/P1020480.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5678405954687984946" border="0" /></a>This is the first year that I've talked to the kids about the 1st Thanksgiving. We even went to the library and got some books. Here are our pilgrim and indians(I mean Native Americans). Oh my word, I love that 2 of my kids colored their figures with blue and purple faces. Kids just don't see the world they way we do.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKh1R9I_l-6q7GR1HbGKm7gtPxyksuM2S5tUStXfDJlXZ_PyDF4diCq8QVNjBflxoaPwdi3MkqVJR-MXQF6Y-kmRCIqySahpPvRlCtuMlICtaZ4GHIqZo3Fy8C2wjlmVc4a_F9etj3sg/s1600/P1020479.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKh1R9I_l-6q7GR1HbGKm7gtPxyksuM2S5tUStXfDJlXZ_PyDF4diCq8QVNjBflxoaPwdi3MkqVJR-MXQF6Y-kmRCIqySahpPvRlCtuMlICtaZ4GHIqZo3Fy8C2wjlmVc4a_F9etj3sg/s320/P1020479.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5678405183631443682" border="0" /></a>Turkey cookies: everything on Pinterest really does look easier than it is is real life.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3U49hagQJ9S0Rs9AcBs_60kbY-4Rk6vI9I0n1lN82WZdE7SIbVWpH3b4KLjEke5BcDSlwDN6zKcolP3hMd5V6FSVyfXC_k8f1URgK8eUN_Aox6BPpGLrPrRHkk6ajy6tC2Lxd-8oV_g/s1600/P1020478.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3U49hagQJ9S0Rs9AcBs_60kbY-4Rk6vI9I0n1lN82WZdE7SIbVWpH3b4KLjEke5BcDSlwDN6zKcolP3hMd5V6FSVyfXC_k8f1URgK8eUN_Aox6BPpGLrPrRHkk6ajy6tC2Lxd-8oV_g/s320/P1020478.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5678404875635210354" border="0" /></a>Place cards for our family Thanksgiving dinner. These were actually pretty fun to make and Connor was uber excited to write everyone's names this year.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-icOVTXjB2ZpwgC2RUkNKvE7X_rbChoeGHN6gJn6dXc9LaJfBEoHIXtvqQYZW2ld-9L_fFrg0UMeG9bkmP7T2z1K46vfnOHwAO448NfkCHGB1I2G6J0ggR1gl4xzhKMRKxpC3iKzUBg/s1600/P1020481.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 258px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-icOVTXjB2ZpwgC2RUkNKvE7X_rbChoeGHN6gJn6dXc9LaJfBEoHIXtvqQYZW2ld-9L_fFrg0UMeG9bkmP7T2z1K46vfnOHwAO448NfkCHGB1I2G6J0ggR1gl4xzhKMRKxpC3iKzUBg/s320/P1020481.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5678407780201544898" border="0" /></a>Ah yes, the McManus Family <a href="http://jenmcmanus.blogspot.com/2009/11/our-thanksgiving-tree.html">Thanksgiving Tree</a>, isn't it hideous? But my kids love that ugly thing. Every year I sit down for an hour and cut out little paper hands (I hate doing this every year). Then every night at dinner the week before Thanksgiving the kids write about one thing they are thankful for. I keep a couple each year and we hang those up too. It really has become a great family tradition even if the thing is one huge eye sore.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">At the end of the day, I might just be a freak. And I know in my heart that my kids don't "really" care about all these little crafts. But the truth is that cancer really has made me stop and think twice about what is important. And this year one thing that's important to me is making memories with my kids. Memories just mean more to me now. And if it means I have to turn myself into a freak Martha Stewart then I will do just that.<br /><br />But seriously, take one moment this year to sit down and thank God for everything this year. For me it has been a really hard one, but a really really great one too. God has given me so much and I am positive that no matter what you are going through right now, He has given you so much too. Have a blessed day everyone!!!!<br /></div></div>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-35394547034521763842011-11-07T18:32:00.004-06:002011-11-07T18:50:15.929-06:00Halloween PicsCause everyone loves cute kids in cute costumes, right?<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtT3qm8G8yKpkOE5KcCuyKdrPBXnMv6S6zbUYjGPi2LJm6r1qUdVoAj5n2SSmJ9DvXRk7xNOVwo6WLzmQwfgRSlWm7QAdtPIDhqO4-vcxpuDGhYUrhCXeQ_BSmuoMbqXhVJlavm2x1WA/s1600/P1020464.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtT3qm8G8yKpkOE5KcCuyKdrPBXnMv6S6zbUYjGPi2LJm6r1qUdVoAj5n2SSmJ9DvXRk7xNOVwo6WLzmQwfgRSlWm7QAdtPIDhqO4-vcxpuDGhYUrhCXeQ_BSmuoMbqXhVJlavm2x1WA/s320/P1020464.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672417135122838194" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoZAFIyqx5b_CBBCCf3QwZAY5EJsj2rGFBfBmRrZRnfS1qhxdbEyKWt8X0qvagB8dRSlK_GcTbrSsf-S5XGGf1zSaH_2h0xG4p4swK67Pl9Jn1FL86MEuChoFkbhMTEmZrVZcfZnXSfg/s1600/P1020466.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoZAFIyqx5b_CBBCCf3QwZAY5EJsj2rGFBfBmRrZRnfS1qhxdbEyKWt8X0qvagB8dRSlK_GcTbrSsf-S5XGGf1zSaH_2h0xG4p4swK67Pl9Jn1FL86MEuChoFkbhMTEmZrVZcfZnXSfg/s320/P1020466.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672417415733011826" border="0" /></a>Our neighborhood is a kids dream come true when it comes to trick-or-treating. We just go down one street and then back on the other side and the kids get the MOTHER LOAD. It is very exciting to the kids to get this much candy, but I am horrified and HATE it. So we bag it(4 zip lock gallon bags full) and I PAY the kids money to make the candy go away. Mean or totally awesome you decide?<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyI1xe5VdBQe-AX1zjc7M7O5etDLVMP7keKXKb3KFApHGtAXHRMp23Q7RXe-lW4VrADBBLcAnNOuGwvGV1-0PFcf3-lr0wz_8bXUNmOm9sSl9ploWefH-fBXl7e-UobARdSw4iCi_EKQ/s1600/P1020474.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyI1xe5VdBQe-AX1zjc7M7O5etDLVMP7keKXKb3KFApHGtAXHRMp23Q7RXe-lW4VrADBBLcAnNOuGwvGV1-0PFcf3-lr0wz_8bXUNmOm9sSl9ploWefH-fBXl7e-UobARdSw4iCi_EKQ/s320/P1020474.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672417606725128162" border="0" /></a>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-24698654423927142252011-11-02T21:28:00.007-05:002011-11-03T13:48:19.641-05:00FEARFear is a powerful thing. It has the power to control you, distract you, steal your thoughts, take away your joy, and warp your picture of Christ. Anxiety is the same. Oh and worry, let's not forget worry. It is yet another emotion that Satan uses to destroy us. It's a slow attack, but steady and unwavering. Like digging a hole in the yard with a spoon, it's slow, VERY SLOW, but eventually the job will get done.<br /><br />I am a control freak. I like knowing what is coming. I'm a planner and a list maker. I like things my way, because let's be honest "my way is just better." I like to think I'm the "fun" girl, but many times I find myself missing fun because I'm off planning or rethinking my plan. I miss sweet moments with my kids because I don't have "time." I stress over the cleanliness of my house even when no one is coming over to see it. I worry about money and feel anxious when I spend it. I lie in bed at night and go over things in my head, over and over and OVER again. Any other controllers feel me?<br /><br />But, now I have cancer, and it changes A LOT of things. I have a disease now that is trying to kill me. It is slowly trying to destroy everything I love. And one day it just might do that. (I pray that it is a long way away). But, the truth is that I'm going to have to fight for life, and that is not going to change anytime soon. Melanoma (stage 3 and beyond) is not medically curable. You are considered in remission or NED (no evidence of disease) when the cancer is removed and they can't find anymore and you are done with treatments. You are cured of melanoma when you die from something else. (Totally morbid, right?) At least, that is what the smart cancer people say.<br /><br />I'm not a person who likes stats and numbers but could you ignore these?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage IIIC Melanoma: I have a 27% chance to live 5 years after my diagnosis and an 18% chance to live 10 years. </span>(American Cancer Society) My doctors and the treatments I am currently on are working VERY hard to make those numbers better.<br /><br />Would those numbers make you worry? Would they give you anxiety? Honestly, what would you do if you heard stats like that about YOU? Would you be AFRAID?<br /><br />Trust me, I have felt every emotion you can feel after hearing that cancer is trying to kill you. But the truth is this: I have Jesus.<br /><br />And Jesus said this:<br /><p><strong>Matthew 6:25-27</strong> <em>“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?</em></p>I'm not going to let FEAR or WORRY or ANXIETY rob me of any more minutes. Our time on this earth is just like a breath. It is short whether I die tomorrow or in 70 years. Life is nothing but a vapor. I will NOT live this life tortured with fear, doubt, worry, and anger. I will not let Satan take the life I have left on this earth and plague it with this disease. Because the truth is, while I fight to live, fear, anxiety, and worry are the real killers that if I let win will take away everything I treasure.<br /><br />On Tuesday, I go in for another surgery (just an outpatient). This might be a shock to some of you, but it happened quickly. I found another spot/lump on my hip and had it looked at. It had been removed before, but it has come back so the surgeon wants to "dig it out" and have it tested. We will know more about the results late next week. If it is cancer, we have some big decisions to make. If it is not cancer then I have another surgery on Nov 30th to get my port removed. (That's good news! I am very excited about that surgery)<br /><br />This is going to be a new way of life for me. I will have a battle with cancer forever, but I will also spend the rest of my life in a fight with fear. Fear will be there forever, knocking on the door, whispering into my heart, and trying to get into my mind. Pray with me friends. Pray that fear does not win today.<br /><br />This is what my prayer will be this week and next. Because of the Gospel I don't have to be afraid. Because of Jesus I have HOPE in my heart not FEAR!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Philippians 4:6-7</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”</span><br /><br />I know that some of you battle with fear, anxiety, and worry. Friends don't let Satan win this fight over your thoughts, dreams, and feelings. The truth is we have nothing to be anxious about, but instead we have the peace of Jesus Christ.Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-5509932333811282722011-10-30T21:51:00.009-05:002011-10-31T13:00:28.975-05:00Pumpkin FailI grew up in Oregon, which meant every Halloween you had to not only come up with a costume for trick or treating, but it had to look good with either a raincoat or a winter coat. And the pumpkins you carved could last outside until Thanksgiving it you let them.<br /><br />In Texas it's still 90 degrees. So instead or warmth you are trying to stay cool with your costume choices. And when you carved pumpkins, they won't last longer than 4 days outside. We carved pumpkins last weekend and lets just say the pumpkins did not last until Halloween.<br /><br />Luckily I took some photos of our awesome pumpkins before they turn into a pile of moldy mush.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRhHmE3EkAwXhhftcQsWFcMQqBXp2SJNb9mTLAkiyTzguT53Xv4f4Pjq-cIQgb4jK6s3aILMun9sQycgwxUJNtFhGeqgBgHSzMmPB0kjoWyQ4fcaEjDB1X_9XTC_qTRgoC3x-0IkF4Eg/s1600/P1020427.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRhHmE3EkAwXhhftcQsWFcMQqBXp2SJNb9mTLAkiyTzguT53Xv4f4Pjq-cIQgb4jK6s3aILMun9sQycgwxUJNtFhGeqgBgHSzMmPB0kjoWyQ4fcaEjDB1X_9XTC_qTRgoC3x-0IkF4Eg/s320/P1020427.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669484558803830402" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAJObbOhjOGYurMTZCp9iBLveuPAUuasDmnOqeSlkNP8Ig53nucJRJEvnef_9U3v8VaD449O3PDXZwkiJAAIyNDavtbNqjekBNpRD_VmPyxiDjuJxlXAotYp7Ye5w4QQlHmbpVedRGlA/s1600/P1020430.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAJObbOhjOGYurMTZCp9iBLveuPAUuasDmnOqeSlkNP8Ig53nucJRJEvnef_9U3v8VaD449O3PDXZwkiJAAIyNDavtbNqjekBNpRD_VmPyxiDjuJxlXAotYp7Ye5w4QQlHmbpVedRGlA/s320/P1020430.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669485026349770802" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1VQ2zTFAhZF0AmwO-zardnQQ2A4tc7A0kjS709Vhw09H1QLX37kpXODCrCv5-aZcLAcpSSdnNsYLxlDigEbCeRW0Zog8bpAMv5F6xrBwStBP8Cr701lo2IOjJYSXpVPVIxKFW8e8xTA/s1600/P1020431.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1VQ2zTFAhZF0AmwO-zardnQQ2A4tc7A0kjS709Vhw09H1QLX37kpXODCrCv5-aZcLAcpSSdnNsYLxlDigEbCeRW0Zog8bpAMv5F6xrBwStBP8Cr701lo2IOjJYSXpVPVIxKFW8e8xTA/s320/P1020431.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669485408884045554" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB-Qic1zVhuJQziN_Xwu_XVY24LVNsg3TUoKiSLZts2RG0dKXCR1ZpwUG-RJyH9Dt5Vf0SgNosZ9h9QOLFplD78vfTehyAzYcJmfDMfWxrUOSjPIYTMo_Cd0DqLS3lyyhw_KsgoCW3sg/s1600/P1020438.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB-Qic1zVhuJQziN_Xwu_XVY24LVNsg3TUoKiSLZts2RG0dKXCR1ZpwUG-RJyH9Dt5Vf0SgNosZ9h9QOLFplD78vfTehyAzYcJmfDMfWxrUOSjPIYTMo_Cd0DqLS3lyyhw_KsgoCW3sg/s320/P1020438.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669485785260352738" border="0" /></a>Bryce's bat, which he cut out by himself.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJWihc34AdWuvgiQTHsHlu_FlR-HpQ9hvuUjn-0d6BoKEInBTx5TYRfRd0173rMtUHdjkZb66cTfHxPxbIIvjLbu8rEsysI7K3T8514YTLmj6kDYnPtLbTp1akeF2pS2_iVs7kXqOyng/s1600/P1020441.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJWihc34AdWuvgiQTHsHlu_FlR-HpQ9hvuUjn-0d6BoKEInBTx5TYRfRd0173rMtUHdjkZb66cTfHxPxbIIvjLbu8rEsysI7K3T8514YTLmj6kDYnPtLbTp1akeF2pS2_iVs7kXqOyng/s320/P1020441.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669486151786366450" border="0" /></a>Connor's scary ghost<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcUU-l-0dcBrPANyEd1RJyd2BhbsSGj6nYHOu76U98bMcXSV2ZAX1QtPT326bRq57G2fYlSFwhFA1Tn3WnuAwmO72rLyNRJH19fOCY20bPFyU2SPPERZ025sSkSkLLKcVHepRW1SFG5g/s1600/P1020442.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcUU-l-0dcBrPANyEd1RJyd2BhbsSGj6nYHOu76U98bMcXSV2ZAX1QtPT326bRq57G2fYlSFwhFA1Tn3WnuAwmO72rLyNRJH19fOCY20bPFyU2SPPERZ025sSkSkLLKcVHepRW1SFG5g/s320/P1020442.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669486571379815506" border="0" /></a>A kitty cat pumpkin<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCeEPLhqlcj6gg43NC6CLRrq2TSXZbFEmuhnsxVh89mDerBQr-AEMyHNyp42txBWoaHbJ_K29E16TNPD_DDte5sGK6W7YHyKMzbqePi_qUR6gB2HcJFKUZDmKqWfP7ZztWmJqvKSjHYQ/s1600/P1020445.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCeEPLhqlcj6gg43NC6CLRrq2TSXZbFEmuhnsxVh89mDerBQr-AEMyHNyp42txBWoaHbJ_K29E16TNPD_DDte5sGK6W7YHyKMzbqePi_qUR6gB2HcJFKUZDmKqWfP7ZztWmJqvKSjHYQ/s320/P1020445.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669498536763327346" border="0" /></a>Our oldest son; Daniel<br /><br /></div>We decided to try again, but this time we painted the pumpkins instead.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyG-ko11RTiigqkxrrnLJdrQMo8owW8wdfihO9RSwfZGWcbNGNbkwZ3vlJdf3qmv7sojjVrFby_71hZvY7srCyAC4vKzkkHTz_4CZ01oxnteRnQDv9XPIneHSX9vy60pfd_UtrFMEXFA/s1600/IMG951193.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyG-ko11RTiigqkxrrnLJdrQMo8owW8wdfihO9RSwfZGWcbNGNbkwZ3vlJdf3qmv7sojjVrFby_71hZvY7srCyAC4vKzkkHTz_4CZ01oxnteRnQDv9XPIneHSX9vy60pfd_UtrFMEXFA/s320/IMG951193.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669716960430873346" border="0" /></a>It was a pumpkin fail, but in the end the kids look pretty happy.Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-79487254453297043962011-10-26T22:24:00.008-05:002011-10-28T23:01:23.063-05:00I miss my foster babies....I have been doing chemo since August and it's still not going great. Not that chemo should go great, but I thought by now my body would start doing better. It's not. I'm still having some pretty nasty side affects. So last night I decided to cheer myself up and sat here and looked through pics of my kids. (Please tell me you do this too)<br /><br />I came across pics from last Halloween, and it made me tear up. There was my sweet little J-man smiling back at me. I miss that sweet baby boy. (For those who are new to our story, J-man was our foster son for 7 months) We haven't had any foster babies in our house since the end of July and that makes me very sad. J-man was the sweetest baby with a smile that could brighten everyone's day. Which got me thinking. This is one reason why I fight the way that I do.<br /><br />You see we aren't fostering while I'm doing treatments, it is just not a good idea. But we will foster again (and maybe eventually adopt) and it gives me something to fight for when this cancer journey gets hard.<br /><br />And his smile cheered me up.<br /><br />Maybe you need something to bring a smile to your face today, and J-man can do that. I'm sorry that we can't show his face, but it is the rule.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsUGwzXaCNWWrReYOjawukkUc4aIStrbzyK8jrz6sh7iYiJieDDLZ6OzGLLlUs-lHO_DOo7UKQCLYfUZORr1MoXBWhf09zss_-gyrYTy8fOjXQj6oK1LpiY7fiUHtOZjz9irsz4vP-wQ/s1600/Picture+3.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 224px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsUGwzXaCNWWrReYOjawukkUc4aIStrbzyK8jrz6sh7iYiJieDDLZ6OzGLLlUs-lHO_DOo7UKQCLYfUZORr1MoXBWhf09zss_-gyrYTy8fOjXQj6oK1LpiY7fiUHtOZjz9irsz4vP-wQ/s320/Picture+3.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5668008459104240802" border="0" /></a>These two were so adorable. We called them "our twins" and they LOVED each other so much.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDgAyLoUfPBFOopU7YK84Oc_MP7CfVTtI-PP5fn-oZ5o3lNqBvS3Ul6DByxFZlLKNPByVGON-vi2QC5tXiLaFUkXvLT8rHDLPicYg54G6UIa-vA2lEeKXKuUdDtenAGVaySy-I3s6duA/s1600/Picture+5.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 178px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDgAyLoUfPBFOopU7YK84Oc_MP7CfVTtI-PP5fn-oZ5o3lNqBvS3Ul6DByxFZlLKNPByVGON-vi2QC5tXiLaFUkXvLT8rHDLPicYg54G6UIa-vA2lEeKXKuUdDtenAGVaySy-I3s6duA/s320/Picture+5.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5668008740331335570" border="0" /></a>Bryce and J-man<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIUtLbtpoXwXiu26lLMq_Fn3SiBX1edYRcXZcqxckX4tsf_Rh65WY1npUMGS72PVRRxN8Wdi3CTx0F-pedBK7fdVJfF-Wx8-QDgqOSmhK7pR-V31XCsb7HOE4Q7Lfx9IExsy_edqELig/s1600/Picture+6.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 149px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIUtLbtpoXwXiu26lLMq_Fn3SiBX1edYRcXZcqxckX4tsf_Rh65WY1npUMGS72PVRRxN8Wdi3CTx0F-pedBK7fdVJfF-Wx8-QDgqOSmhK7pR-V31XCsb7HOE4Q7Lfx9IExsy_edqELig/s320/Picture+6.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5668008875007211810" border="0" /></a>Teaching J-man how to walk.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR2sC8TtqC0vaIi8YHPzvnsDeM9oIoORJ9o7X3uqQFiSiWPeSiIOIfvujyL8cGQIFv3WdK_2jSCK6SBXk5TnCN-89BmWA1v5ZaJUb-l-iUmodd_Gmi5IHHbqEUqiai7_p_i8ijpCrxLw/s1600/Picture+7.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 262px; height: 221px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR2sC8TtqC0vaIi8YHPzvnsDeM9oIoORJ9o7X3uqQFiSiWPeSiIOIfvujyL8cGQIFv3WdK_2jSCK6SBXk5TnCN-89BmWA1v5ZaJUb-l-iUmodd_Gmi5IHHbqEUqiai7_p_i8ijpCrxLw/s320/Picture+7.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5668008949746251554" border="0" /></a>My Dad was J-man's favorite person in the whole world. They were such buddies.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Did it work? Are you smiling now?<br /></div></div>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-55944384164160606252011-10-25T12:27:00.010-05:002011-10-28T23:12:07.775-05:00Bye Bye BinkyThe second year is a big year in the McManus house. It's the year my babies become NOT BABIES! And it is breaking me up. Because I am NOT ready for my baby girl to NOT be a baby anymore.<br /><br />At the same time, I'm very excited for my little girl and how big she is getting. This week was another big step toward "little girl-hood" for her. She is now sleeping in a big girl bed. She is going on the potty. And now this week, she gave up her BINKY.<br /><br />This is a big deal in our house. My babies LOVE binkys. I have no idea why, but they all have. When McManus babies turn 1 they can only have their binkys when it is nighttime. And then at 2 and 1/2 it is time to say bye bye binky.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheyZQkbi8G1RI73xhNmFxwzjVNPcEdeJ87BLnytceU7_VVm6Z_S50X4IDaCwR1c_sag2yrJItMiw3zvKQfYkKmeYuDwAEyahUgwD4AfzBX-7NM_VRCLVQnaIWiNbzPb6XO6fziQlvHvg/s1600/100_1153.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheyZQkbi8G1RI73xhNmFxwzjVNPcEdeJ87BLnytceU7_VVm6Z_S50X4IDaCwR1c_sag2yrJItMiw3zvKQfYkKmeYuDwAEyahUgwD4AfzBX-7NM_VRCLVQnaIWiNbzPb6XO6fziQlvHvg/s320/100_1153.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667489512540636946" border="0" /></a>Connor<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiYh9I1p-mIM36j0bocNgIVNLFb0aAsCx3L8HUZnqEWY6x824f0-pLHmi9aR9i-le9sd_TUg0MZdAFrjjC1kt8YTMe1ig5f2BwJaQsK3ZxTm_6aj5Ee5laSvstoX7KVecPm75ehyOz9A/s1600/IMG_0346.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiYh9I1p-mIM36j0bocNgIVNLFb0aAsCx3L8HUZnqEWY6x824f0-pLHmi9aR9i-le9sd_TUg0MZdAFrjjC1kt8YTMe1ig5f2BwJaQsK3ZxTm_6aj5Ee5laSvstoX7KVecPm75ehyOz9A/s320/IMG_0346.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667488006409573234" border="0" /></a>Bryce<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP7XuJ-YL6GQXCmtP9CrfiWn2fDN2kgVgw4UczWMMHBxzvdbSwWTT9QRE8AlwkvmZB2TsWeselVEnRRpqSp_gHFyrn0f8HevQXCdhOliSkKgH20LO_m_j5tD2eMZSIqLKyTQDYt22aTg/s1600/IMG_2714.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP7XuJ-YL6GQXCmtP9CrfiWn2fDN2kgVgw4UczWMMHBxzvdbSwWTT9QRE8AlwkvmZB2TsWeselVEnRRpqSp_gHFyrn0f8HevQXCdhOliSkKgH20LO_m_j5tD2eMZSIqLKyTQDYt22aTg/s320/IMG_2714.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667491081366400706" border="0" /></a>Alexis<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">We teach our babies that they need to "give" their binkys away to another baby. That now they are big boys or girls and that another little baby needs their binkys. We have our kiddos decorate a box or a bag, put their binkys in it, and put it in the mailbox. Later the bag or box is gone and we explain that it has been sent to a baby.<br /></div></div><br />My kids have done great with this. They are proud of giving their binkys away and excited that they did it all by themselves. I love it, because I am not the bad guy who took their precious binky away. And we don't really have a hard time with them after they give the binkys away, because they are the ones who did it. They know that the binky is gone and so we don't really have big problems.<br /><br />Alexis was such a trooper and was very proud of becoming a big girl. She slept perfect last night. (naptime she had a little bit of a hard time, but I expected that) And tonight she went to bed again with no problems. I'm very proud, but a little sad that my baby girl is growing up.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipV_SKAHPoViYJBQJaSkGTuG-yZyQW9iSvGVRdE-_e8GSmkYMKDDj8jt4cZ561dq8k_jvX6SHEHPWDIX1-dRLsChQEQv2uAyd_jtun1XjiXYCYbzq2LYxGU6DzKx_QUN23vJ45XFwkhA/s1600/P1020455.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipV_SKAHPoViYJBQJaSkGTuG-yZyQW9iSvGVRdE-_e8GSmkYMKDDj8jt4cZ561dq8k_jvX6SHEHPWDIX1-dRLsChQEQv2uAyd_jtun1XjiXYCYbzq2LYxGU6DzKx_QUN23vJ45XFwkhA/s320/P1020455.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667483778040467538" border="0" /></a>Very excited about the bag she decorated.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivI1phsWKCVXCL78K9r76kShTpK90FLJ4-BbzhGZtCzqh5l8LHBkRvpQXTjpArMKpzTidZ084GjftCVCEgy5yVq1tqsOJRrjJP-K3au_sQN2UprLce1JTA33PdmDBA8YrYDBmSVQS6-g/s1600/P1020459.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivI1phsWKCVXCL78K9r76kShTpK90FLJ4-BbzhGZtCzqh5l8LHBkRvpQXTjpArMKpzTidZ084GjftCVCEgy5yVq1tqsOJRrjJP-K3au_sQN2UprLce1JTA33PdmDBA8YrYDBmSVQS6-g/s320/P1020459.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667484061984508642" border="0" /></a>Putting the binky in the mailbox. Bryce was a good big brother and helped her every step of the way.<br /></div>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-81744300419016922142011-10-23T22:35:00.012-05:002011-10-23T23:31:59.423-05:00Weekend in PicturesI get sick of having cancer. Sick of being so sick all the time. Sick of doctor appointments. Sick of shots and pills. Sick of being on the couch. Sick of fighting.<br /><br />When the weekend hit. I wanted one thing; to NOT be any of those things anymore. I needed to be just Jen, Mom, Friend, and Wife. So that is what I did this weekend......<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguAWBIO3TcHjvOu93OJhNE_StU0BBEmfOLTF7QoihMah6ZdfEWThGoLmacepWUCMFosBS7j8_mHoCtIRgsDKAD3fElUlEWuXj00yEP8AkvKQ4WTe83ys2JuBuXvUREEzzhwW6T4d1k8Q/s1600/9370949_high_res_320x480.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguAWBIO3TcHjvOu93OJhNE_StU0BBEmfOLTF7QoihMah6ZdfEWThGoLmacepWUCMFosBS7j8_mHoCtIRgsDKAD3fElUlEWuXj00yEP8AkvKQ4WTe83ys2JuBuXvUREEzzhwW6T4d1k8Q/s320/9370949_high_res_320x480.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666898329552604594" border="0" /></a>We spent Saturday morning at our gym's Spooktacular carnival. The kids were SOOOO excited about wearing their costumes.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7orXzd3W6B-1SVU2xPsTXGqKu2B5YIBtzKJ6RzTMpgT2s0nIgbOo704IIjLClfjMi0SM_zmgBx8gp0aoJP8F_sLlTRyi3G4BBsmOkPDo-pQn6FloP4D14bcny6TVNfzQOk20GAaVx2Q/s1600/IMAG0723.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 191px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7orXzd3W6B-1SVU2xPsTXGqKu2B5YIBtzKJ6RzTMpgT2s0nIgbOo704IIjLClfjMi0SM_zmgBx8gp0aoJP8F_sLlTRyi3G4BBsmOkPDo-pQn6FloP4D14bcny6TVNfzQOk20GAaVx2Q/s320/IMAG0723.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666897853667274914" border="0" /></a>And who doesn't love coloring? (especially a kitty mask)<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP_stkFIEvV5tIQwlWh88sxKp-pb1Xn6gKpBfqdDCFOKJjIjcy9qTVWPjOtp3VRWaeWHTTX8L7PUQUSeH1hWAILI3WpoEwi_wKJfC_hw-91gCreNduORqV9EBolKSsgvju6BwBF6sBmQ/s1600/9371049_high_res_320x480.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP_stkFIEvV5tIQwlWh88sxKp-pb1Xn6gKpBfqdDCFOKJjIjcy9qTVWPjOtp3VRWaeWHTTX8L7PUQUSeH1hWAILI3WpoEwi_wKJfC_hw-91gCreNduORqV9EBolKSsgvju6BwBF6sBmQ/s320/9371049_high_res_320x480.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666897967456242002" border="0" /></a>Hayride!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNmqzeln19QZUopNJjkdirLbG9-znTnLQ0s9MKDfasZm1uWWj0-wBkWcy5JXtv_ZeWEalMXPni8t2Ub9IgKdFCyoBd0fPCgqLtYRtb3zouIemISr5rTYKMuTRCOw3fZu5CynWblV_jfQ/s1600/9371019_high_res_320x480.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNmqzeln19QZUopNJjkdirLbG9-znTnLQ0s9MKDfasZm1uWWj0-wBkWcy5JXtv_ZeWEalMXPni8t2Ub9IgKdFCyoBd0fPCgqLtYRtb3zouIemISr5rTYKMuTRCOw3fZu5CynWblV_jfQ/s320/9371019_high_res_320x480.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666898035648344946" border="0" /></a>And the coolest balloon artist I have ever seen.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWvOc-0joXLHrAT_sNuQzqEDK5n7y9hqR7uUP19Zi80eWnRpykBZi8PGRN4nOjNNH2aYDWxBRb7uVngv4Wr3NrJIBwnbEoRXUOmaUV6aPbQTgW__a43qBPJv-uKhLnDjKjtRRpZsM8hA/s1600/9371017_high_res_320x480.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWvOc-0joXLHrAT_sNuQzqEDK5n7y9hqR7uUP19Zi80eWnRpykBZi8PGRN4nOjNNH2aYDWxBRb7uVngv4Wr3NrJIBwnbEoRXUOmaUV6aPbQTgW__a43qBPJv-uKhLnDjKjtRRpZsM8hA/s320/9371017_high_res_320x480.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666898105275971842" border="0" /></a>Cool, right?<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfxH9desROLa9l-B51_sK5wkvUmGvgvk8h6ehsYTn1P-PMYwL25buoZCWLzlSwFAnoUrcXzmfn5b9TgFMPjpLcgrrHGS_7Ckj8a0ZHops0tKJe0G2O4x95_aAkdG9riv45qY15Uzq5oA/s1600/9371016_high_res_320x480.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfxH9desROLa9l-B51_sK5wkvUmGvgvk8h6ehsYTn1P-PMYwL25buoZCWLzlSwFAnoUrcXzmfn5b9TgFMPjpLcgrrHGS_7Ckj8a0ZHops0tKJe0G2O4x95_aAkdG9riv45qY15Uzq5oA/s320/9371016_high_res_320x480.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666898176645459138" border="0" /></a>She loved that little monkey.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Later that night I went to a Halloween party with my bootcamp girls.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCJPPxYdEZoT1C91r7zSfvHyD1WobpTCVGDUW6qvwwErYCGhErXRkvXQtwPcFp-rejO00lEpjAPpHLCSOAz4vEt9b4JgoBtfoRfp6jfnNjcBLORcNQUvH6-BhMb_IWrKlKElVwemTffA/s1600/1wyeq.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCJPPxYdEZoT1C91r7zSfvHyD1WobpTCVGDUW6qvwwErYCGhErXRkvXQtwPcFp-rejO00lEpjAPpHLCSOAz4vEt9b4JgoBtfoRfp6jfnNjcBLORcNQUvH6-BhMb_IWrKlKElVwemTffA/s320/1wyeq.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666898973408305458" border="0" /></a>I was a gypsy.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMZIiZHkH0-nVP8ZjhxBdtuS0tnMzqABsHxe7FbfDfQgL_Y0d84PfFdCtKauyJ0HWgifpeR_8AF_iLLO4562w50cQ4kQ0mT8UYQ0chKgxjigoL8-I9yyQ0EroxPVctECgUTnrcsiIM0Q/s1600/341156_10150331992042407_500737406_8471476_859876938_o.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMZIiZHkH0-nVP8ZjhxBdtuS0tnMzqABsHxe7FbfDfQgL_Y0d84PfFdCtKauyJ0HWgifpeR_8AF_iLLO4562w50cQ4kQ0mT8UYQ0chKgxjigoL8-I9yyQ0EroxPVctECgUTnrcsiIM0Q/s320/341156_10150331992042407_500737406_8471476_859876938_o.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666899071118400786" border="0" /></a>And we had a blast!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Sunday was a great day too. We went and visited our friend, Chris Marlow who spoke at Austin New Church. He works for <a href="http://www.garagesale4orphans.org/our-projects/">HELP</a> and we love the work they are doing around the world. I got to write some curriculum last year for them and I am so excited to hear that more and more churches around the country are doing garage sales for orphans. Have you ever thought about doing<a href="http://www.garagesale4orphans.org/get-started/"> one</a>?<br /><br />We ended the weekend going to Target, just me and my husband. It was a rare moment and we had a blast! Just walking around shopping, talking, laughing, and having alone time.<br /><br />Overall it was a great weekend, but I am spent. Exhausted and very sick. It was worth it. And I'm so glad that God gave me another weekend with my family. How was your weekend?<br /></div></div></div></div>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354720323394973077.post-81503293463288009452011-10-18T22:31:00.006-05:002011-10-28T23:02:24.331-05:00Q and A<span style="font-weight: bold;">What are you doing to stay strong? </span><br /><br />I'm trying to eat as healthy as I can at this point. But this is difficult because I'm so sick. Unfortunately I find myself having to eat lot's of bread because it's the best thing for my stomach. We have started juicing and I try my best to have 2 juice concoctions a day. I'm trying to not get too consumed with dieting right now, which is hard for me. One of the side effects of the chemo I am on is weight GAIN. Horrifying right?? So I am trying to not freak out, stay strong, and eat well.<br /><br />I'm also going to the gym 3 times a week. (I'm used to going 5 plus times a week) I'm doing bootcamp with an awesome group of ladies. My trainer Mike lost his Mom to cancer last year and he is helping me A LOT. I'm not as strong or fast as I used to be, but it feels good going to the gym. At the gym I don't think about cancer or chemo. I just try to do my best work. And I feel like it is so good for me right now to stay as strong as I can.<br /><br />I also LOVE that my kids get a place to just play, hang out with other kids, RUN, and overall have a blast. We go to an awesome gym with an exceptional kids club. They play outside on the playground, do games on the basketball courts, have computer time, do crafts, and fee play. They love it and I love the time I get for myself. I also get a SHOWER by myself. I get to take my time and wash every part of my body and SHAVE!!! No interruptions and I love that!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaQfS8Tlsybc6tl4xDHXx9L8v1PM3RVAKPR4jbXx_uSYJJN_8Rlnb0z0Yi5q8wl5fEZkl3toHI4j7KueUrMCDqRMHLg2n2IBRAmXs1fUZ2rPQMDXyRmRLYHlscjB4RZFyDIpFj5GMLoQ/s1600/jennifer-cancer-photo-essay-026.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaQfS8Tlsybc6tl4xDHXx9L8v1PM3RVAKPR4jbXx_uSYJJN_8Rlnb0z0Yi5q8wl5fEZkl3toHI4j7KueUrMCDqRMHLg2n2IBRAmXs1fUZ2rPQMDXyRmRLYHlscjB4RZFyDIpFj5GMLoQ/s320/jennifer-cancer-photo-essay-026.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665046336564303954" border="0" /></a>*picture by Daniel Davis<br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />How are your checkups going? </span><br /><br />I'm still only taking half dosage of chemo right now. My doctor is watching my labs closely and I talk to him weekly about the side effects I am experiencing. We're in a good routine right now. I take chemo shots Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays. My body is still struggling, but it is getting better. I still get high fevers, nausea, body aches, and bad headaches. But one of the worst things, is the medications I am taking to help with the side effects. I don't like the way I feel on them and I get other side effects to deal with from the pills. At the end of the day I feel like a pill taking machine and I hate that.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">When I mention you in prayer...what do you need the most in the way of support?</span><br /><br />I need everyone to continue to pray that my body stays strong. I need this chemo and I need to take it for a long time. In the next week or so we will try to get the dosage back up and I want my body to handle it well.<br /><br />I need my mind to stay strong too. This chemo has a high depression side effect and I don't need that battle too. So far so good, but I could use prayer.<br /><br />My kids are doing great and you can continue to pray that they don't feel stressed by this.<br /><br />I love to laugh, so finding ways to help me smile is always the best way to help.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I do have a question, have you ever heard of s flax oil cottage cheese diet? It's more known as the Budwig diet, it may be something to try?</span><br /><br />There are too many diets out there for me to keep track of. I could go crazy trying them all. At the end of the day, we all know the right things to eat. Lot's of fruit and veggies, protein, and whole grains. I talk to my doctor a lot, and he is great. We feel like the treatment plan I am on right now will give me the best shot at beating this.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thanks for the questions.....We'll do it again next week!</span>Jen McManushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02899980338315955468noreply@blogger.com3