I know...I know...I know
I haven't posted about what I'm learning for a while now. And here's my problem. I HAVE NO IDEA! It seems like the last couple of weeks I've just been plagued with random thoughts and good ideas and some maybe not-so-good thoughts. Then I get sad and mad at myself and then happy. I begin to feel like I haven't learned anything and many times just feel like I'll never figure this whole thing out. What whole thing?
How do I be a woman of God giving Him glory in all that I do?
Love people whenever I possibly can.
Raise 4 children who LOVE JESUS with all their heart.(And do a much better job at this whole thing)
Love the orphan, the widow, the needy.
Live a faith that is "real" and SHARE it with others
Keep my house clean, but not in a way that makes it more important than what is truly important
Find time to daily sit with my Savior. Worshiping him, studying the Word, listening, confessing, obeying
Do the dishes, laundry, feed kids, clean up and then feed them again
Love on my husband in a way that is Godly and keeps him always wanting more :D
Prepare my heart for a weekly time to pour into newly married couples
Find friendships that build me up and challenge me and be a better friend to the friends I already have that do that
Remind myself that there is a bigger reason to live my life than JUST ME!
Find time to watch all those STUPID shows I absolutely love
Cry because I feel like I could do so much more for my King and His kingdom
Begin to dream BIG DREAMS for myself, my husband, and our family
Cry again because I seriously find myself wondering if our family is called to do something radical, but am afraid of what that looks like
Rest in the arms of my merciful Jesus who knows EXACTLY what I'm feeling
Work out so I keep my body healthy and mind sane (the shower helps too)
Try to go to bed before the next days starts and then REPEAT!
Have you been there my friends? This is my life as of lately. I want to live a life that is different and gives people a reason to ask me why it's different. But I struggle with my selfish flesh and yearn for the typical American middle class life. It would be easy for me to just throw in the towel and tell myself not to be so hard on myself and that I "do" plenty. But that feels like an easy way out. At the same time God does not want me to feel the way I do feel sometimes, like I just suck. So this week and next week and the week after that times infinity I'm going to try and give myself a break and yet keep my heart open for God to work in and move me anyway or anywhere He wants to.