So Friday was our 1st permanency court day. The update is that J-man is still in our home and will be for another 3-4 weeks. Thursday night we got a call that CPS was trying to postpone court for another 30 days and this really confused us. We thought that maybe they had some more stuff on Bio Mom, but after Friday it all made sense. CPS pretty much dropped the ball and didn't do what the judge had wanted them to do. So we wait a couple of weeks while they get everything worked out. It was sad because I know Bio Mom and us too thought that J-man was ready to go home. So we wait just a bit longer. Meanwhile we start praying about being submitted for straight adoption babies or continue to foster with the intention to adopt when it's needed (knowing that there is a chance that we get another placement who doesn't stay with us forever)
Prayer Requests:
Please continue to pray for Bio Mom as she keeps up the great work
Pray for our kiddos as we start preparing them in a few weeks to say goodbye to their brother
Begin to pray for our next step in this journey
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
So what if I can't adopt?
"So Jen, super neat quotes and stats, but seriously we/I can't adopt right now or maybe ever. So what do you have to say to me?"
Dude I know what you are thinking! I've been there. So this post is all about what you can do to help the orphan, the widow, the needy right now. (And guess what some of the things you can do DON'T require money)
1) Sponsor an orphan. For a little more than $30 a month you can CHANGE a child's life. Your money will help this child get food, clean water, shelter, and many times SCHOOL. So, not only are you caring for their physical needs, but you're giving them a HOPE for the future. We love our sponsor daughter and pray for her each night, write her letters, and talk about her. I love seeing how my kids are learning to have a heart for those that don't have what they have.
I can wholeheartedly put my name behind each of these organizations:
HELP (Help End Local Proverty)
Compassion
World Vision
2) Throw a garage sale party. I love this one, because it is SO easy. Just talk to a bunch of friends and get a bunch of your crap together. Hang out for a Saturday morning and SELL SELL SELL. Then donate the money to your favorite organization. Or, donate it to a family you know is trying to raise money to adopt. We did this with our community group and donated everything to HELP. They have a great website called Garage Sale for Orphans. You can even see where your money is going.
3) Buy Christmas presents this year that can help the world's poorest. Trade as One let's you buy jewelry, shirts, purses, scarves, chocolate, coffee, and even spices from around the world. You can be confident to know that the money goes directly to the people who made the product.
Whether it's a unique gift or an everyday product like fair trade coffee or chocolate, your spending can connect you to a story of hope and dignity for the poor.
That's what it means to trade as one.
4) Sacrifice one of your Christmas presents or ask your kids to and buy a present for someone in need. Participate in an angel tree and know that you are giving a gift to a child or family who wouldn't get one otherwise.
5) Donate gently used toys and clothes to your local fostercare agency for foster parents and children to use.
6) Contact your local fostercare agency and sign up to become a CERTIFIED babysitter. You see, foster parents cannot just call up a babysitter for a much needed night out. They have to have CERTIFIED babysitters and it can be really difficult to find one without a couple weeks notice! This could be a HUGE blessing to a family who is really needing to feel blessed. In most cases, all you need to do is fill out a background check and take a short class.
7) Get a group together and collect new teddy bears or other stuffed animals. Give them to your local fostercare agency. Imagine that the moment a child is taken from their family they are given a new stuffed animal to hold onto.
8) If you know a family who is in the process of adopting, organize and provide dinners when their little son/daughter comes home. We do this when our friends have a newborn, but sometimes forget to do it when families adopt.
9) GO! Go on a mission trip to love the poor, the widow, the needy, the orphan. Adam and I are going to take the money we have saved for our 10 year anniversary cruise and go on a mission trip together instead.
10) Talk! Spread the word. Talk about James 1:27 with others. Talk about what we (the church) are doing right and what we are doing wrong. Talk to your pastors about an orphan ministry. Talk to your friends. Find other blogs and twitter accounts. Spread the word. I know for me personally I was just NAIVE to the orphan crisis and really had no idea what an epidemic it had become.
Dude I know what you are thinking! I've been there. So this post is all about what you can do to help the orphan, the widow, the needy right now. (And guess what some of the things you can do DON'T require money)
1) Sponsor an orphan. For a little more than $30 a month you can CHANGE a child's life. Your money will help this child get food, clean water, shelter, and many times SCHOOL. So, not only are you caring for their physical needs, but you're giving them a HOPE for the future. We love our sponsor daughter and pray for her each night, write her letters, and talk about her. I love seeing how my kids are learning to have a heart for those that don't have what they have.
I can wholeheartedly put my name behind each of these organizations:
HELP (Help End Local Proverty)
Compassion
World Vision
2) Throw a garage sale party. I love this one, because it is SO easy. Just talk to a bunch of friends and get a bunch of your crap together. Hang out for a Saturday morning and SELL SELL SELL. Then donate the money to your favorite organization. Or, donate it to a family you know is trying to raise money to adopt. We did this with our community group and donated everything to HELP. They have a great website called Garage Sale for Orphans. You can even see where your money is going.
3) Buy Christmas presents this year that can help the world's poorest. Trade as One let's you buy jewelry, shirts, purses, scarves, chocolate, coffee, and even spices from around the world. You can be confident to know that the money goes directly to the people who made the product.
Whether it's a unique gift or an everyday product like fair trade coffee or chocolate, your spending can connect you to a story of hope and dignity for the poor.
That's what it means to trade as one.
4) Sacrifice one of your Christmas presents or ask your kids to and buy a present for someone in need. Participate in an angel tree and know that you are giving a gift to a child or family who wouldn't get one otherwise.
5) Donate gently used toys and clothes to your local fostercare agency for foster parents and children to use.
6) Contact your local fostercare agency and sign up to become a CERTIFIED babysitter. You see, foster parents cannot just call up a babysitter for a much needed night out. They have to have CERTIFIED babysitters and it can be really difficult to find one without a couple weeks notice! This could be a HUGE blessing to a family who is really needing to feel blessed. In most cases, all you need to do is fill out a background check and take a short class.
7) Get a group together and collect new teddy bears or other stuffed animals. Give them to your local fostercare agency. Imagine that the moment a child is taken from their family they are given a new stuffed animal to hold onto.
8) If you know a family who is in the process of adopting, organize and provide dinners when their little son/daughter comes home. We do this when our friends have a newborn, but sometimes forget to do it when families adopt.
9) GO! Go on a mission trip to love the poor, the widow, the needy, the orphan. Adam and I are going to take the money we have saved for our 10 year anniversary cruise and go on a mission trip together instead.
10) Talk! Spread the word. Talk about James 1:27 with others. Talk about what we (the church) are doing right and what we are doing wrong. Talk to your pastors about an orphan ministry. Talk to your friends. Find other blogs and twitter accounts. Spread the word. I know for me personally I was just NAIVE to the orphan crisis and really had no idea what an epidemic it had become.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Together for Adoption
This weekend, we attended the Together for Adoption conference here in Austin. I totally wish I was a good writer and could ACTUALLY do a good job sharing with you about this weekend. I can't, but I will try to share with you the things God did lay on my heart.
1) Adam and I are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing. I've never really doubted this, but this last week was a hard one on me. Lots of talks about J-man's case and a few phone calls from Bio Mom. This next week is going to be even harder because this could be our last with our son. This weekend was like someone hitting the refresh button. I needed that, and I needed to be surrounded by 1,000 people who are living radically to love the orphan.
2) Again and again this weekend, I felt sick to my stomach. Sick because the orphan crisis could be DEMOLISHED quite easily by the Christian church. Sit on that for a second. We, my brothers and sisters in Christ, could make it so that NOT one child is ever waiting for a family.
In Texas there are 12,191 children waiting to be adopted. There 18,466 Christian churches in the state of Texas.
3) Just the chance to meet so many incredible families/couples was so very enouarging and challenging to me. Encouraging because I didn't feel alone, and I KNEW that every Mother in that room could understand some of the feelings I have sometimes. Challenging because these couples/families are FREAKIN' Rockstars.
4) The time I spent worshiping our perfect Savior was indescribable. To have time to praise our perfect Father, weep (yes there were many tears from me), confess, and pray was EXACTLY what I needed.
5) It was just fun spending time with my hubby and our friends (new and old). It was fun to laugh, go on a date, stay up WAY too late, drink coffee (still hate it), and sharpen each other.
Again, I wish I could do a better job sharing with you, but I will leave you with some of my tweets from this weekend.
You could have 15 biological children and would still have to start at square one w/ an adoptive child." Dr Purvis
"You can't care for the orphan if you let the world corrupt you." Dave Gibbons
"We'll vote for pro life politicians but we turn our back on the children when they are actually born." Dave Gibbons
Could Satan's strategy simply b 2 make the church think we're doing something when we're really doing nothing? Dave Gibbons
There is a kind of religion that makes God smile -James 1:27
Over 19,000 children age out of the fostercare system every year in the US. Brothers and Sisters who will love these kids?
If every church took in one child there would be a waiting list for parents not children. Doesn't that sound freaking awesome?
Worried about the cost of adoption? God is not a deadbeat Dad and he will take care of you.
Just talked to couple that has adopted 9 kids from California's fostercare. Freakin Rockstars. God is moving, wanna move with Him?
Listening to Dr Karyn Purvis bringing it (and she's rocking skinny jeans). This lady is my hero.
"We need to serve, mentor, teach, and love our foster bio moms." @sjfults is teaching on radical and missional fostercare.
How can an orphan ever understand the love of God the Father when they don't know the love of an earthly father? -Matt Carter
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Look at what I "learnded" this week!
I know...I know...I know
I haven't posted about what I'm learning for a while now. And here's my problem. I HAVE NO IDEA! It seems like the last couple of weeks I've just been plagued with random thoughts and good ideas and some maybe not-so-good thoughts. Then I get sad and mad at myself and then happy. I begin to feel like I haven't learned anything and many times just feel like I'll never figure this whole thing out. What whole thing?
THIS:
How do I be a woman of God giving Him glory in all that I do?
Love people whenever I possibly can.
Raise 4 children who LOVE JESUS with all their heart.(And do a much better job at this whole thing)
Love the orphan, the widow, the needy.
Live a faith that is "real" and SHARE it with others
Keep my house clean, but not in a way that makes it more important than what is truly important
Find time to daily sit with my Savior. Worshiping him, studying the Word, listening, confessing, obeying
Do the dishes, laundry, feed kids, clean up and then feed them again
Love on my husband in a way that is Godly and keeps him always wanting more :D
Prepare my heart for a weekly time to pour into newly married couples
Find friendships that build me up and challenge me and be a better friend to the friends I already have that do that
Remind myself that there is a bigger reason to live my life than JUST ME!
Find time to watch all those STUPID shows I absolutely love
Cry because I feel like I could do so much more for my King and His kingdom
Begin to dream BIG DREAMS for myself, my husband, and our family
Cry again because I seriously find myself wondering if our family is called to do something radical, but am afraid of what that looks like
Rest in the arms of my merciful Jesus who knows EXACTLY what I'm feeling
Work out so I keep my body healthy and mind sane (the shower helps too)
Try to go to bed before the next days starts and then REPEAT!
Have you been there my friends? This is my life as of lately. I want to live a life that is different and gives people a reason to ask me why it's different. But I struggle with my selfish flesh and yearn for the typical American middle class life. It would be easy for me to just throw in the towel and tell myself not to be so hard on myself and that I "do" plenty. But that feels like an easy way out. At the same time God does not want me to feel the way I do feel sometimes, like I just suck. So this week and next week and the week after that times infinity I'm going to try and give myself a break and yet keep my heart open for God to work in and move me anyway or anywhere He wants to.
I haven't posted about what I'm learning for a while now. And here's my problem. I HAVE NO IDEA! It seems like the last couple of weeks I've just been plagued with random thoughts and good ideas and some maybe not-so-good thoughts. Then I get sad and mad at myself and then happy. I begin to feel like I haven't learned anything and many times just feel like I'll never figure this whole thing out. What whole thing?
THIS:
How do I be a woman of God giving Him glory in all that I do?
Love people whenever I possibly can.
Raise 4 children who LOVE JESUS with all their heart.(And do a much better job at this whole thing)
Love the orphan, the widow, the needy.
Live a faith that is "real" and SHARE it with others
Keep my house clean, but not in a way that makes it more important than what is truly important
Find time to daily sit with my Savior. Worshiping him, studying the Word, listening, confessing, obeying
Do the dishes, laundry, feed kids, clean up and then feed them again
Love on my husband in a way that is Godly and keeps him always wanting more :D
Prepare my heart for a weekly time to pour into newly married couples
Find friendships that build me up and challenge me and be a better friend to the friends I already have that do that
Remind myself that there is a bigger reason to live my life than JUST ME!
Find time to watch all those STUPID shows I absolutely love
Cry because I feel like I could do so much more for my King and His kingdom
Begin to dream BIG DREAMS for myself, my husband, and our family
Cry again because I seriously find myself wondering if our family is called to do something radical, but am afraid of what that looks like
Rest in the arms of my merciful Jesus who knows EXACTLY what I'm feeling
Work out so I keep my body healthy and mind sane (the shower helps too)
Try to go to bed before the next days starts and then REPEAT!
Have you been there my friends? This is my life as of lately. I want to live a life that is different and gives people a reason to ask me why it's different. But I struggle with my selfish flesh and yearn for the typical American middle class life. It would be easy for me to just throw in the towel and tell myself not to be so hard on myself and that I "do" plenty. But that feels like an easy way out. At the same time God does not want me to feel the way I do feel sometimes, like I just suck. So this week and next week and the week after that times infinity I'm going to try and give myself a break and yet keep my heart open for God to work in and move me anyway or anywhere He wants to.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Mama.....
Don't we just LOVE hearing that little word? It melts our heart and brings tears to our eyes. Especially when you hear it for the first time. (And if you are lucky it's their first word) But just recently hearing the words "Mama" for the first time brought tears to my eyes for a totally different reason. J-man has started calling me Mama and it warms my heart and breaks it at the same time. Just tonight at our small group he started crying and I walk over to him. He reached his little hands up in the air and called out saying "Mama....Mama". I scooped him up and sat down with him. Our small group knows our journey and there was a awkward silence in the room. I know what everyone was thinking and I was thinking the same thing. I feel so blessed to be this little boy's Mommy for right now. But it won't be forever and he could be going back to Bio Mom in a little over 2 weeks. Ever day it seems like his case changes and everyday I have to deal with feelings that I can't quite explain just yet. I love this little boy, but the reality is that even though right now to him I'm his "Mama" that's just not the case. Please pray for me friends.....
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Just words.....
Lately we've (and when I say "we" I mostly mean my 2 oldest children, but to be honest I needed this reminder too) been talking about our words. How words can drag someone down and make them feel bad. How words that speak truth and build each other up make someone feel good and joyful. So during lunch everyday we go around the table a couple of times and say words that life each other up. It has really been a sweet time. Here are some of the compliments that have been said....
C- Bryce, I love the way you listen to me when I'm the teacher and you are my karate student. You are doing a very good job.
B- Mama you're the best Mama cause you make me lot's of good food. And you let me have candy sometimes. (Hint Hint Mom I want some candy today)
C- Mom I love you so much because you bought me a Iron Man costume for Halloween and now no one will know who I am. And then I can get lot's of candy. (Um there's that candy thing again)
B- Connor, you're really good at riding a bike and now I get to ride your bike.
C- Alexis you are the best sister cause you are the only girl. (She really appreciated that one)
B- J-man you are so cute and love to eat.
It really has been fun and I plan on making this a tradition. I look forward to the day that I have a table full of teenagers and make them do this same exercise and let's just hope that I'm still blogging then, cause that will be funny.
C- Bryce, I love the way you listen to me when I'm the teacher and you are my karate student. You are doing a very good job.
B- Mama you're the best Mama cause you make me lot's of good food. And you let me have candy sometimes. (Hint Hint Mom I want some candy today)
C- Mom I love you so much because you bought me a Iron Man costume for Halloween and now no one will know who I am. And then I can get lot's of candy. (Um there's that candy thing again)
B- Connor, you're really good at riding a bike and now I get to ride your bike.
C- Alexis you are the best sister cause you are the only girl. (She really appreciated that one)
B- J-man you are so cute and love to eat.
It really has been fun and I plan on making this a tradition. I look forward to the day that I have a table full of teenagers and make them do this same exercise and let's just hope that I'm still blogging then, cause that will be funny.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Looks like I'm not the only blogger in the family....
Words from Adam.....
Two months ago, we added a foster son to our family. I can't use his name online for various reasons, so he'll be "J" for the rest of this note. J was a scared little guy when he came to our family, and we barely knew anything about his situation. We were initially told it was bad, and that he would likely be with us for a long time, possibly even ending in adoption into our family. Without getting into details, it simply doesn't look like that's the case at all anymore. It's very possible he'll be reunited with his biological mother in a month or two.
As a father of three beautiful children, I know how deep my love for them goes. It may sound trite when parents say they would do anything for their children, but it's absolutely true. Children are a gift from God, and they each possess your heart in a way that can't be adequately described in words. With that knowledge in mind, I was honestly skeptical whether I could love someone else's child like my own. Two months ago, I would have said it wasn't possible. As time went on though, J convinced me otherwise. That realization caused me to consciously try to hold back a tiny piece of my heart from him. Perhaps out of fear of being hurt when he leaves our family. Perhaps so I could still show love toward his biological mom, even when I don't like some of the decisions she makes. Whatever the reasons, I was trying to not fully love him. I can say without a doubt, I have failed in that goal.
In my heart, J is one of my children. I love him as much as I love Connor, Bryce, and Alexis. He is part of our family. Every day, I watch him grow and flourish into a confident one year old boy. I watch him fall in love with Jennifer. I watch the bonds form between him and his siblings in our family. I watch myself fall in love with him more and more.
And now, I have to start preparing to give him up, and I don't like it.
This really struck me at First Tuesday when Matt Carter challenged us to consider what was holding us back from pouring out everything we had to God. I knew immediately what my current hang-up centered on. Giving up J. I don't want to do it, because I love J. It will hurt me. It will hurt Jennifer. It will make my children sad. As I wallowed in self-pity, the Holy Spirit pierced me with an understanding that was at once painful yet beautiful.
We will likely be sending J back to his mother soon. As much as I may not want him to leave our family, the fact is, his mother does love him. He'll be returning to a fairly good home situation, especially compared to most foster care cases. I may get angry or frustrated at some of the choices that will be made for him, or due to some of the situations he'll be placed into, but he's going back to his mom. A mom that loves him, even if she has made a few bad decisions. He's not going back to an abusive situation. He's not going back to a dangerous situation. That knowledge alone is a comfort, but that's when the bomb dropped.
God willingly gave up his "J" for me. God knowingly sent his son into a world where he would be mocked, ridiculed, hurt, tortured, and ultimately killed. His son that he had developed a relationship with for an eternity, not just two or three months. His son that he loved beyond anything I can imagine. It got worse.
God gave up his son to be Sin. He didn't just give up his son, he poured out the righteous wrath and judgement that I deserved onto his son. His only child was beaten. His only child was spit upon. His only child was tortured. His only child was nailed to a cross to suffer an extremely painful death. As if that wasn't enough, his only child experienced complete and utter separation from his father when he took on sin.
All of it was done for me. All of the sacrifice, all of the pain, all of the separation; for me. That's a depth of love that defies understanding. That kind of love is fanatical. That kind of love is intense. That kind of love restores my broken relationship with God the Father. That's a beautiful reminder of God's love for me.
I wish I could say this reminder will make giving J back hurt less, but I don't think I can say that yet. It's going to hurt. It's going to break my heart. But, I can rest in the understanding that any pain I might experience pales in comparison to what God did when he gave up Jesus to a broken world. I can rest in the knowledge that my God is perfect, and that J's time in our family brought glory and renown to His name. I can be confident that God's will is being worked in our family and in J. Even more comforting is the understanding that J has a Father that loves him more than I ever could.
I may have to give J up soon, but I know God has already given up everything for him.
Two months ago, we added a foster son to our family. I can't use his name online for various reasons, so he'll be "J" for the rest of this note. J was a scared little guy when he came to our family, and we barely knew anything about his situation. We were initially told it was bad, and that he would likely be with us for a long time, possibly even ending in adoption into our family. Without getting into details, it simply doesn't look like that's the case at all anymore. It's very possible he'll be reunited with his biological mother in a month or two.
As a father of three beautiful children, I know how deep my love for them goes. It may sound trite when parents say they would do anything for their children, but it's absolutely true. Children are a gift from God, and they each possess your heart in a way that can't be adequately described in words. With that knowledge in mind, I was honestly skeptical whether I could love someone else's child like my own. Two months ago, I would have said it wasn't possible. As time went on though, J convinced me otherwise. That realization caused me to consciously try to hold back a tiny piece of my heart from him. Perhaps out of fear of being hurt when he leaves our family. Perhaps so I could still show love toward his biological mom, even when I don't like some of the decisions she makes. Whatever the reasons, I was trying to not fully love him. I can say without a doubt, I have failed in that goal.
In my heart, J is one of my children. I love him as much as I love Connor, Bryce, and Alexis. He is part of our family. Every day, I watch him grow and flourish into a confident one year old boy. I watch him fall in love with Jennifer. I watch the bonds form between him and his siblings in our family. I watch myself fall in love with him more and more.
And now, I have to start preparing to give him up, and I don't like it.
This really struck me at First Tuesday when Matt Carter challenged us to consider what was holding us back from pouring out everything we had to God. I knew immediately what my current hang-up centered on. Giving up J. I don't want to do it, because I love J. It will hurt me. It will hurt Jennifer. It will make my children sad. As I wallowed in self-pity, the Holy Spirit pierced me with an understanding that was at once painful yet beautiful.
We will likely be sending J back to his mother soon. As much as I may not want him to leave our family, the fact is, his mother does love him. He'll be returning to a fairly good home situation, especially compared to most foster care cases. I may get angry or frustrated at some of the choices that will be made for him, or due to some of the situations he'll be placed into, but he's going back to his mom. A mom that loves him, even if she has made a few bad decisions. He's not going back to an abusive situation. He's not going back to a dangerous situation. That knowledge alone is a comfort, but that's when the bomb dropped.
God willingly gave up his "J" for me. God knowingly sent his son into a world where he would be mocked, ridiculed, hurt, tortured, and ultimately killed. His son that he had developed a relationship with for an eternity, not just two or three months. His son that he loved beyond anything I can imagine. It got worse.
God gave up his son to be Sin. He didn't just give up his son, he poured out the righteous wrath and judgement that I deserved onto his son. His only child was beaten. His only child was spit upon. His only child was tortured. His only child was nailed to a cross to suffer an extremely painful death. As if that wasn't enough, his only child experienced complete and utter separation from his father when he took on sin.
All of it was done for me. All of the sacrifice, all of the pain, all of the separation; for me. That's a depth of love that defies understanding. That kind of love is fanatical. That kind of love is intense. That kind of love restores my broken relationship with God the Father. That's a beautiful reminder of God's love for me.
I wish I could say this reminder will make giving J back hurt less, but I don't think I can say that yet. It's going to hurt. It's going to break my heart. But, I can rest in the understanding that any pain I might experience pales in comparison to what God did when he gave up Jesus to a broken world. I can rest in the knowledge that my God is perfect, and that J's time in our family brought glory and renown to His name. I can be confident that God's will is being worked in our family and in J. Even more comforting is the understanding that J has a Father that loves him more than I ever could.
I may have to give J up soon, but I know God has already given up everything for him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
