Monday, August 1, 2011

Chemo Day 1

I walked into a large room filled with recliners lining the outside walls. It's obvious that someone has tried to make the room NOT look hospital, but it does anyways. Each chair is filled with a very sick person(honestly some looked close to death). My first thought was "Is that going to be me?". I pushed those thoughts out of my head immediately and found my little chair and spot for the next 5 hours. The next hours were filled with lot's of paperwork, lot's of nurses, and a VERY full bag of fluids.

I was given medications to help with symptoms I don't feel yet. I'm told story after story of what I will feel like tonight and the next 28 days. It seems surreal. I'm going to get sick, very sick. But I don't feel sick right now, opposite really. My body feels strong, I'd actually rather be running or doing cycling today. But I'm here.

I'm asked if I want to speak with a counselor. Then it kind of hits me.

This is real. I have cancer and I'm starting my treatment today.

For the next hour I spend time reading the Word and praying. I still feel great spiritually, mentally, and physically BUT the reality is that that just might change very soon! It's scary thinking of suffering, especially when you know is coming.

So today I'm going to cling to the sweet promise that Jesus suffered everything that we will ever suffer. I am going to suffer and it is silly to act or pretend like I am not going to. But I can choose to cling to my Jesus, the one who suffered. And one who conquered suffering FOR ME!


Suzanne Barrett said...

Praying for continued joy and strength!!

Melissa said...

Just wanted you to know that our whole family has been praying for you- praying for strength and encouraging days. I've always been so encouraged by your energy and joy filled living. You are a great example of accepting trials and growing in whatever the Lord is working on in your life.

M. Kevin McKee said...

Jennifer, Mary and I were deeply moved by your faith, and the sweet fellowship of the members of your church. I'll be praying for you as I head to China in the morning. Grace, Peace, and the hope of Christ's soon return. Kevin McKee

Cynthia said...

Jen this verse just springs to mind right now. We are praying for you and are right down the road if you need anything at all.

1 Peter 5:10 "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you"

Amy said...

Praying for you and yours!
for strength, patience and healing . . . one day at a time!

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23

Anonymous said...

Praying daily for you; may God continually give you inner strength, joy, and healing within this battle. You are not alone. Many blessings to you, your husband, and children. May God surround you all closely during this difficult time.

Anonymous said...

On our knees for you in Longview. As I ran this morning God brought a song to me that had me calling out for you. If you do not have it already it is Shekinah (live).

Sending love

Jillian G

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