I walked into a large room filled with recliners lining the outside walls. It's obvious that someone has tried to make the room NOT look hospital, but it does anyways. Each chair is filled with a very sick person(honestly some looked close to death). My first thought was "Is that going to be me?". I pushed those thoughts out of my head immediately and found my little chair and spot for the next 5 hours. The next hours were filled with lot's of paperwork, lot's of nurses, and a VERY full bag of fluids.
I was given medications to help with symptoms I don't feel yet. I'm told story after story of what I will feel like tonight and the next 28 days. It seems surreal. I'm going to get sick, very sick. But I don't feel sick right now, opposite really. My body feels strong, I'd actually rather be running or doing cycling today. But I'm here.
I'm asked if I want to speak with a counselor. Then it kind of hits me.
This is real. I have cancer and I'm starting my treatment today.
For the next hour I spend time reading the Word and praying. I still feel great spiritually, mentally, and physically BUT the reality is that that just might change very soon! It's scary thinking of suffering, especially when you know is coming.
So today I'm going to cling to the sweet promise that Jesus suffered everything that we will ever suffer. I am going to suffer and it is silly to act or pretend like I am not going to. But I can choose to cling to my Jesus, the one who suffered. And one who conquered suffering FOR ME!