Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Bad blood, numbness, and CT scans

Today was not a typical day in chemo land. First off my blood came back with bad news. My white blood cells have plummeted. My Doctor take that very seriously and to be honest I really have no clue why. I don't do a good job of paying attention, but I do know that I have been having a very rough week and this could be why. I'm also experiencing numbness and I keep having these epic headaches, which all means an emergency CT scan.

I don't know results yet(results came back clear), but I want to talk about what I feeling while I was laying in that machine. I have been reading "Choosing to See" by Mary Beth Chapman. She is married to singer/songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman and they lost their little baby girl in a tragic car accident, their oldest son was the driver. They pretty much experienced the worst thing I could ever imagine and this book is about their struggle dealing with this tragedy.

So as I lay there with my head stuck inside that huge machine, I couldn't help but think about what I would do if I got bad news again. The Chapman family experienced the worst "bad news" I could think of and they have taken that tragedy and given God glory. They found hope in a situation that seemed hopeless. So I laid there thinking...Would I cling to Jesus again? Or would this be the time that I can't take more bad news?

Yes if the news was bad....Yes if this doesn't kill all the cancer in my body...And yes even if it's tragedy beyond what I think I can handle...

I will have my Jesus.

Here is a song Steven Curtis Chapman wrote after losing his little girl.


Stephanie said...

Hi Jen,
Just want you to know I'm reading your blog and praying. :)

Gina (geeners) said...

Your white blood cells fight off infection. When you come into contact with any virus or bacteria, your white blood cells usually take care of it.

If your white cell count is down, you are more susceptible to infection - colds, flu, etc. If you get sick, even a "simple cold," it's going to take a toll on your body since you don't have as many white cells to fight it off.

Wash your hands. A lot.

Only a couple more days of chemo! Hang in there!

Sarah said...


I have to say Thanks for sharing your faith with the world. I too have a strong faith in my Savior Jesus Christ, and still your unwavering trust in the Lord is faith promoting. You are truly letting the light of Christ shine through you and I have to say that if this great trial was for that purpose alone...you are a beautiful example Christ.

You have touched my heart and no doubt have touched others who may not have a strong faith and knowledge of Him who suffered all for our sake. Bless you Jennifer! You are truly an amazing daughter of God!

Julie P. said...

Hi Jen, I go to the Stone too, and am friends with Jamie Ivey...
I read this blog today from Desiring God and thought of you! Hopefully it will encourage you!

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