Friday, December 17, 2010

How did it go?

I know that is what everyone is thinking. So here's how the morning went. We kept the morning very simple and very "what we do every morning". We got dressed, ate breakfast, laughed, played with toys, and rushed to get everyone in the car on time.

We drove to meet Bio Mom and I was beginning to get a little sad when all of a sudden I heard a whimper and a sound no Mom wants to hear. Yup, Alexis puked EVERYWHERE!!! She puked milk which made it even worse. I had to pull over on the highway and cleaned her up.

Cleaning puke was HORRIBLE, but a little bit of a blessing. You see I don't have normal "flight or fight" response to stressful things. Nope I'm more of a "clean or fight" kind of person. When I stress out or am sad. There is only one thing I want to do; CLEAN! I know it's weird, huh? So it was good that right about the time I was starting to get pretty stressed and sad, I got distracted and just had to clean.

When I finally pulled into the parking lot, I felt pretty good. I hadn't even thought about it, cause well I was paranoid that Alexis was going to throw up again.

Anyway I pulled in and jumped out of the car. Bio Mom was already crying and so I teared up a bit too. We embraced and celebrated for a moment. I hadn't seen her since court a couple months ago. We had talked on the phone, but it wasn't the same. She thanked us and began crying again. She told me that she couldn't have picked a better family to love on J-man during this time. It was a perfect "goodbye".

The older boys did a great job saying "goodbye", because we had told the kids that J-man's Bio Mom was sick and couldn't take care of him. So to them even though they weren't going to see their brother again, it was exciting to them that he finally got his Mommy back. Connor told me on the way back home that J-man's Bio Mom must have really missed him and will be so happy to have him for Christmas. I love that kid's heart. He just "gets" stuff sometimes.

Bio Mom and I had one last hug and a cry. And we took off. The rest of the day was pretty normal (expect no gym for me because of pukey Alexis, luckily she never threw up again). I had some moments when I teared up, but overall felt good.

I need prayers from everyone that the Holy Spirit continues to do a work in my heart. It's the only way I've made it threw this crazyness this whole 6 months. I've had a weird peace this whole process and I can't explain why without talking about "a peace that passes all understand" (Philippians 4:7). Even when things got sad or frustrating or just plain annoying, I always felt a calming peace. I will continue to need that the next days and weeks.

The bigger question is "will we do this again?" I'll write about it later. But the short answer is "yes, of course".

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