Tuesday, November 2, 2010

How are you doing this?

Life as the "middle Mom" (what some call being a foster Mom) is hard! J-man will never be my forever son, but for now and for the last 4 months, he is my son. I love him and he loves me, sometimes too much. We've spent the last couple of weeks fighting extreme separation anxiety, but the next 2 weeks or next month and half is going to get harder. We have gotten the official word that we are moving into the "reunification process." That simply means J-man is going to go home to Bio Mom and "they" (the lawyers, cps, therapists, and Bio Mom) are all TRYING to find a schedule that will make that happen. J-man could be going home in the next 2 weeks or he could be going home in the next month and half. No one really knows. Everyone has their opinion, but there is no "real answer" about when as of yet.

Please pray for us while we go through this process. It is going to be crazy. It could mean just adding an hour to each visit each week until we start doing overnight visits. It could mean full-day visits for awhile, then overnight visits, and then weekend visits until everyone is ready for J-man to go home permanently. It could mean anything. We just don't know.

What I do know is this "process" will be very hard for everyone. It's going to be hard on little J-man as he begins to find his schedule unstable. He'll bounce back and forth. Bio Mom to us, back to Bio Mom, back to us. I can't imagine how he will process this. Bio Mom will experience the joy of having more time with her little boy and then the heartache as she gives him back again and again and again. My kids will have their brother here and then not and then here and then not. I will be Mom to J-man one day and the person who drops him off the next.

Sound like a nightmare? (It kind of does to me too.)

But, like most sufferings, we see a glimmer of God's perfect plan. J-man is going home. A family that God created is going to be reunified. What a day that will be! To see the face of a Mom getting her baby back. I cling to the hope of that moment and pray that it gets me through the time we have ahead of us. I cling to the image of the day we are blessed with a son or daughter who will forever be in our family. We fight for that day even though it means we have a couple really hard ones now. We fight because Christ fought for us. We love this little baby and his Mom because Christ loved us first. We forgive and forget the mistakes she made because Christ forgives and forgets ours.
Join me, my friends, and pray for us in this journey.....


K said...

I'm praying for you.

Amy said...

I've been gone, so i've missed not checking in. I'm so sorry and sad for you that you have to go through this. I'll be praying for you all!

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