Sunday, October 24, 2010

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Last Thursday night I had a good old fashion pity party. It was silly and dramatic. But it was what I was feeling (and probably what I needed).

We got more news about J-man's case, and again we have no idea what is going on. He could be reunifying with Bio Mom in a couple of weeks or maybe a couple more months. We just have NO IDEA! This is frustrating to me for so many reasons. One because we love this little boy and every day that he is in our family, he becomes more and more our son. Lately, he has been having a hard time with separation anxiety with me and cries every time I leave the room or his sight, stand up to leave, or think about moving away from him. It's hard on him and me. We're also sad for Bio Mom cause she is doing great but the system is just flawed and it might just take a little more time. And then there are the emails. I keep getting email after email of little babies our agency wants us to apply to adopt. We don't feel like we can do this until we know what is going to happen with J-man. So I get these emails with pictures of sweet little babies who need a Mommy and a Daddy and it just makes everything that much harder. Could you imagine getting emails like that EVERYDAY! It starts to just hurt your heart.

And on Thursday it just all hit me. HARD!

I got mad.

I got sad.

I felt ready to throw the towel in.

I said things I didn't mean.

I just sat in silence.

I threw myself a pity party.

But after some good healthy time talking with Adam, getting into the Word, and hearing an awesome message this morning I feel back on track.

So I start this week with two things in my head.

1) My God is bigger than any challenge or situation. He is in control and His plan for me and my family is absolutely perfect.

2) I'm putting my big girl panties on and trusting in Him.

Pray for me my friends....

2 comments:

@Elizabeth_N said...

I know your feelings to well! Prayers!

EastCoastLove said...

Here here!!

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