Last week I had my chemo port taken out. For many cancer survivors this is a big day, because it means the end of treatments. For me it was a surgery that needed to be done for practical reasons. One because my doctor was worried about a blood clot forming and two because we have hit our out of pocket limit this year and wanted to get this surgery paid for. Lets hear it for insurance. But it was still a good surgery to be had.
I'm doing well. Sore, sick, and tired but that is more because I am still doing chemo 3X a week not because of the surgery.
I was thinking about all the surgeries and I had this year(all FOUR of them) and more specifically the new scars I have now. I have 4 new ones. They are big, ugly, and I don't like them. But each one tells a story. A story that I need to be PROUD of.
My physical scars tell a story of God's blessing, hope, healing, love, and the battle Jesus has already won for me. Although they are ugly to the eye they are most precious to me. My physical scars tell the world about my story....no, His story in me. And because of that I will WEAR my new scars with pride. I will not be ashamed of those pink zigzag lines.
Friends, I challenge you to do the same. Be proud of your scars. The physical, but more importantly the emotional ones. I have those too. I have had my heart broken by others, been betrayed, lost a baby, watch another baby fight to live, given back my foster babies to another, and now a cancer fight to live as long as God will let me. I have scars from all of those stories, ones that are painful and deep. But there is healing in the hurt. And I want that to be what people see when they see my scars. I want them to see the healing from a Savior who loves us no matter how deep the wounds are.
And to be honest no one will see those scars if I don't show them. I could hide all of my physical scars if I wanted to, and no one would ever see them. But I refuse to do that. I want them to shine. I want to do the same thing with my other scars, I want to share those with others too. I understand wanting to hide that hurt, but others out there are hurting with something similar battles. And trust me when I say that sometimes just hearing that someone else has a similar scar makes a world of difference.
I want everyone to see the "real" me. The one that has been broken and hurt. The one who has lost so much and yet gained even more. The one that is struggling even right now with fighting cancer. The "real Jen". And I pray that ever scar, battle wound, on the inside or outside points others to Jesus.
I invite you to do the same.......